7.30.2006
Lollipop Contest Winner!
So today's the day. I've announced the winner of my first ever essay contest. I received a ton of great entries and I want to thank everyone for participating. I chose this essay from Confessions of a Stressed Out Mom because I think it speaks to all moms. She did a great job so go on over and read it and let her know what you think.
7.27.2006
Taking it Day By Day
First of all, I have to apologize to whoever has come to this blog in the past couple weeks. My posting has been sporadic at best and not very interesting. I am struggling to stay afloat. This pregnancy is kicking my ass and I'm only 6 weeks in.
I went to the doctor on Wednesday and I actually left feeling more anxious than before. He did an internal ultrasound and said that he thinks I may actually be less than 6 weeks, which scares me a little. The same thing happened with my miscarriage. I went in thinking of was a certain number of weeks and I wasn't. A few days later the bleeding started.
Also, the doc thought he saw two eggs!!! Yes, you read that right, two mothereffing eggs. When he moved the probe thingy around more he said it was probably just one, but that he wasn't positive. Dear blog readers, if I end up having twins you will witness the first ever virtual nervous breakdown because I WILL go crazy.
Anyway, it looks like the baby is hiding and he couldn't get a strong heartbeat so he wants me to come back in 2 weeks. I asked about my first miscarriage and he assured me that everything looks fine, but that basically you never know. Thanks doc!
Back to my apology. Every night I sit with laptop in hand and try to muster the energy to read through all of my favorite blogs. Kristen, GGC, Chelle, Nicole, Christina, CMHL, Mom-101, Izzy, HBM, Domesticator, Jaime, JuliaBohemian, Chicky Baby, Sandra, Mrs. Fortune, Sunshine Scribe, Jana, Mommy Off the Record, Mama of 2, MIM, Meg, and everyone else on my blogroll that I am too lazy to type in right now; I have not been visiting you lately because all I can do is curl up on the couch and pray that this sick feeling goes away. I have not had the energy to do ANYTHING. Seriously, my house is a mess, the laundry is piling up and I fell asleep today while my daughter watched a video. Bad mommy, but I am beat! Just know that I am thinking about you every night and wondering what fantastic stories I am missing out on.
Between working and taking care of a 3 year-old, I feel like I am 65 years old. The nausea begins at sun up and continues until sundown. I get a few quick breaks but there's a constant knot in my throat. This sucks people!! How am I going to make it through the next few weeks?
So if you haven't seen me updating or commenting on your blog, don't get mad, don't forget about me, I am probably just dozing off in a corner somewhere. I will be back to normal soon (I hope!) I hope everyone who is going to BlogHer has a fabulous time and I can't wait to read all the stories.
Oh, and my contest over at Lollipop is almost over. The deadline is July 30 so if you're interested in winning a really great book, stop over and submit your essay. I've gotten some really great entries so far.
I went to the doctor on Wednesday and I actually left feeling more anxious than before. He did an internal ultrasound and said that he thinks I may actually be less than 6 weeks, which scares me a little. The same thing happened with my miscarriage. I went in thinking of was a certain number of weeks and I wasn't. A few days later the bleeding started.
Also, the doc thought he saw two eggs!!! Yes, you read that right, two mothereffing eggs. When he moved the probe thingy around more he said it was probably just one, but that he wasn't positive. Dear blog readers, if I end up having twins you will witness the first ever virtual nervous breakdown because I WILL go crazy.
Anyway, it looks like the baby is hiding and he couldn't get a strong heartbeat so he wants me to come back in 2 weeks. I asked about my first miscarriage and he assured me that everything looks fine, but that basically you never know. Thanks doc!
Back to my apology. Every night I sit with laptop in hand and try to muster the energy to read through all of my favorite blogs. Kristen, GGC, Chelle, Nicole, Christina, CMHL, Mom-101, Izzy, HBM, Domesticator, Jaime, JuliaBohemian, Chicky Baby, Sandra, Mrs. Fortune, Sunshine Scribe, Jana, Mommy Off the Record, Mama of 2, MIM, Meg, and everyone else on my blogroll that I am too lazy to type in right now; I have not been visiting you lately because all I can do is curl up on the couch and pray that this sick feeling goes away. I have not had the energy to do ANYTHING. Seriously, my house is a mess, the laundry is piling up and I fell asleep today while my daughter watched a video. Bad mommy, but I am beat! Just know that I am thinking about you every night and wondering what fantastic stories I am missing out on.
Between working and taking care of a 3 year-old, I feel like I am 65 years old. The nausea begins at sun up and continues until sundown. I get a few quick breaks but there's a constant knot in my throat. This sucks people!! How am I going to make it through the next few weeks?
So if you haven't seen me updating or commenting on your blog, don't get mad, don't forget about me, I am probably just dozing off in a corner somewhere. I will be back to normal soon (I hope!) I hope everyone who is going to BlogHer has a fabulous time and I can't wait to read all the stories.
Oh, and my contest over at Lollipop is almost over. The deadline is July 30 so if you're interested in winning a really great book, stop over and submit your essay. I've gotten some really great entries so far.
7.26.2006
Wedding Pictures
The flower girl before getting dressed.
My sister before putting her dress on.
The flowers.
Her cake.
The lovely bride and her matron of honor (me) being silly.
My sister (Amy), me, and J
Me making the dreaded toast.
The happy couple. I got an e-mail from my sister yesterday. They are in Paris and having a wonderful time! I'm so jealous.
My sister before putting her dress on.
The flowers.
Her cake.
The lovely bride and her matron of honor (me) being silly.
My sister (Amy), me, and J
Me making the dreaded toast.
The happy couple. I got an e-mail from my sister yesterday. They are in Paris and having a wonderful time! I'm so jealous.
7.25.2006
I'm Baaaack!
Wow, it's been so long since I've posted. It feels kinda weird. Thanks to all of you guys who stopped by even though I wasn't updating.
The wedding was wonderful! My sister looked amazing and everything turned out perfect. Well, almost everything. J looked adorable in her flower girl dress but she decided last minute that she didn't feel like walking down the aisle. I asked her to take my hand so we could walk down together but she flopped to the ground and start crying. I didn't know what to do so I just left her there. I said, "it's my turn sweetie, bye." Eventually, she did find her way out, but it wasn't down the aisle. She took the long way and went around everyone. That was the only hitch and that was fine because during the ceremony she was quiet and that was more important to me.
The ceremony was short and sweet, just the way I like it. We were wisked away to take pictures which is nice but mostly it's a pain in the ass. I just wanted to get inside and see my family and eat. When we did make it inside we were there for 15 minutes before they ushered us into the bridal suite for our big entrance. Since I was the matron of honor and my older brother was the best man we decided we had to have the best entrance. He picked me up and carried me to the dance floor. It was funny.
Every time I go to a wedding, I forget how much 'stuff' is involved. There's the first dance, mother-son dance, father-daughter dance, blessing, and a toast. It's like 20 minutes before you can sit down.
Anyway, I was so nervous about my speech. I ended up writing a list of do's and don'ts for marriage. I showed it to my mother the night before and she was like, "oh that's cute, but I think your sister was looking for something more sentimental." Dammit! So I spent an hour adding some more stuff. When it was my turn to read, I started shaking. I hate speaking in front of people. It went great though, and yes my sister cried.
I have to say that although everything went beautifully, I felt a little removed. I wasn't drinking and I couldn't tell anyone about the pregnancy. Coupled with the fact that nausea has set in BIG TIME, it was a weird night for me.
I will show you guys some pictures tomorrow. Right now I need to lay down. I think I'm gonna puke.
Ciao!
The wedding was wonderful! My sister looked amazing and everything turned out perfect. Well, almost everything. J looked adorable in her flower girl dress but she decided last minute that she didn't feel like walking down the aisle. I asked her to take my hand so we could walk down together but she flopped to the ground and start crying. I didn't know what to do so I just left her there. I said, "it's my turn sweetie, bye." Eventually, she did find her way out, but it wasn't down the aisle. She took the long way and went around everyone. That was the only hitch and that was fine because during the ceremony she was quiet and that was more important to me.
The ceremony was short and sweet, just the way I like it. We were wisked away to take pictures which is nice but mostly it's a pain in the ass. I just wanted to get inside and see my family and eat. When we did make it inside we were there for 15 minutes before they ushered us into the bridal suite for our big entrance. Since I was the matron of honor and my older brother was the best man we decided we had to have the best entrance. He picked me up and carried me to the dance floor. It was funny.
Every time I go to a wedding, I forget how much 'stuff' is involved. There's the first dance, mother-son dance, father-daughter dance, blessing, and a toast. It's like 20 minutes before you can sit down.
Anyway, I was so nervous about my speech. I ended up writing a list of do's and don'ts for marriage. I showed it to my mother the night before and she was like, "oh that's cute, but I think your sister was looking for something more sentimental." Dammit! So I spent an hour adding some more stuff. When it was my turn to read, I started shaking. I hate speaking in front of people. It went great though, and yes my sister cried.
I have to say that although everything went beautifully, I felt a little removed. I wasn't drinking and I couldn't tell anyone about the pregnancy. Coupled with the fact that nausea has set in BIG TIME, it was a weird night for me.
I will show you guys some pictures tomorrow. Right now I need to lay down. I think I'm gonna puke.
Ciao!
7.19.2006
Writer's Block
First of all, thanks to everyone for your thoughts and stories. It has comforted me alot. I'm doing fine, the cramping has gotten better. I am going to keep my fingers crossed for now.
Now I'm plagued with writer's block. I am still trying to come up with something creative to say at my sister's wedding. Any suggestions? My memory is shot or else I would tell a funny story about us growing up. I tried to write a poem, but the words aren't coming. I looked for a quote about sisters but none of them capture how happy I am for her and how special she is to me. I also thought about putting together a list of rules for her fiance. Silly things like, don't mess with her hair, always stock the fridge with taylor ham, don't leave your dirty underwear on the floor, yada, yada, yada.
I'm dying a slow death. Pllleeeaassee help!
Now I'm plagued with writer's block. I am still trying to come up with something creative to say at my sister's wedding. Any suggestions? My memory is shot or else I would tell a funny story about us growing up. I tried to write a poem, but the words aren't coming. I looked for a quote about sisters but none of them capture how happy I am for her and how special she is to me. I also thought about putting together a list of rules for her fiance. Silly things like, don't mess with her hair, always stock the fridge with taylor ham, don't leave your dirty underwear on the floor, yada, yada, yada.
I'm dying a slow death. Pllleeeaassee help!
The News is Out
I've started telling people about our new baby on board. The way I see it is, if something bad was going to happen then the people who are closest to me would know about it anyway. I'm not a superstitious person so I don't think sharing the news will jinx this pregnancy. I'm pretty much an open book anyway, as you can tell from this blog.
I will tell you, dear Internet friends, that I am a little preoccupied. I have been feeling crampy all week. Mostly it's like period cramps, nothing really painful, but it has been consistent. I try to tell myself that it could just be things moving around, stretching out, getting ready for a baby, but there is still a part of me that is worried.
Things are different this time around. I am a lot more active. I have a part-time job that is pretty physical and I'm also chasing after a 3 year-old all day. Maybe feeling crampy is just par for the course.
I'm not spotting and I have no other symptoms, but I have had a miscarriage before. Before J was born, I got pregnant really quickly and really easily. Hubby and I said "okay, let's try," and that was it. We were pregnant the first time. I told everyone right away and they were all excited.
Afew days later, hubby and I went down the shore with some friends. They knew I was pregnant, but didn't really seem to care because they all smoked (some cigarettes, some pot) and drank and had a grand old time. I just walked away whenever anyone lit up. I'm not the type of person who would get all pissy and forsake someone a good time. I just stayed far away.
A day or two into our vacation, we recieved some horrible news. One of the guys we were with got a phone call that his sister passed away. She was only 23 years-old. She drowned in the town pool. Apparently she had a seizure in the water. The worst part is that no one noticed and she was at the bottom of the pool for a few minutes before anyone saw her. Shocking, I know. There is a lawsuit pending.
Anyway, we were all shocked. We frantically started packing everything up. Hauling suitcases and lugging beach bags back into the car. Cleaning the house and taking the garbage to the curb. We drove all the way home and the next morning, I started bleeding.
Maybe it was the stress of the situation, maybe it was just meant to be, but it was bad timing to say the least. I went to the doctor and he confirmed my fears. I was devastated. I bled for a few days and then that was it. No more baby. It felt so weird to mourn someone I had never met, but it was even worse to attend a real live funeral in the process.
Because I had told everyone early on, news spread quickly. At the funeral my friends kept congratulating me. At one point, it became too unbearable and I lost my cool. I stepped outside and started bawling. How convenient to be at a funeral. No one questioned my tears. I didn't want to add to anyone's grief so I stayed quiet.
I'm trying to remember how I felt the first time. Whether I was crampy then, too. I know I probably shouldn't compare, but I can't help it. My mother wants me to call the doctor, but I already have an appt. next week. I'm just going to wait it out. If it's meant to be, then things will turn out just fine. Besides, part of me wants to be oblivious if things don't work out because my sister is getting married and I don't want to be sad for her big day.
Since so many of you have said you've miscarried before, would you mind sharing some of how you felt? If it's too personal, I totally understand. And maybe this isn't the right thing to do because I'm just going to worry more, but maybe it will comfort me too. Thanks ladies!
I will tell you, dear Internet friends, that I am a little preoccupied. I have been feeling crampy all week. Mostly it's like period cramps, nothing really painful, but it has been consistent. I try to tell myself that it could just be things moving around, stretching out, getting ready for a baby, but there is still a part of me that is worried.
Things are different this time around. I am a lot more active. I have a part-time job that is pretty physical and I'm also chasing after a 3 year-old all day. Maybe feeling crampy is just par for the course.
I'm not spotting and I have no other symptoms, but I have had a miscarriage before. Before J was born, I got pregnant really quickly and really easily. Hubby and I said "okay, let's try," and that was it. We were pregnant the first time. I told everyone right away and they were all excited.
Afew days later, hubby and I went down the shore with some friends. They knew I was pregnant, but didn't really seem to care because they all smoked (some cigarettes, some pot) and drank and had a grand old time. I just walked away whenever anyone lit up. I'm not the type of person who would get all pissy and forsake someone a good time. I just stayed far away.
A day or two into our vacation, we recieved some horrible news. One of the guys we were with got a phone call that his sister passed away. She was only 23 years-old. She drowned in the town pool. Apparently she had a seizure in the water. The worst part is that no one noticed and she was at the bottom of the pool for a few minutes before anyone saw her. Shocking, I know. There is a lawsuit pending.
Anyway, we were all shocked. We frantically started packing everything up. Hauling suitcases and lugging beach bags back into the car. Cleaning the house and taking the garbage to the curb. We drove all the way home and the next morning, I started bleeding.
Maybe it was the stress of the situation, maybe it was just meant to be, but it was bad timing to say the least. I went to the doctor and he confirmed my fears. I was devastated. I bled for a few days and then that was it. No more baby. It felt so weird to mourn someone I had never met, but it was even worse to attend a real live funeral in the process.
Because I had told everyone early on, news spread quickly. At the funeral my friends kept congratulating me. At one point, it became too unbearable and I lost my cool. I stepped outside and started bawling. How convenient to be at a funeral. No one questioned my tears. I didn't want to add to anyone's grief so I stayed quiet.
I'm trying to remember how I felt the first time. Whether I was crampy then, too. I know I probably shouldn't compare, but I can't help it. My mother wants me to call the doctor, but I already have an appt. next week. I'm just going to wait it out. If it's meant to be, then things will turn out just fine. Besides, part of me wants to be oblivious if things don't work out because my sister is getting married and I don't want to be sad for her big day.
Since so many of you have said you've miscarried before, would you mind sharing some of how you felt? If it's too personal, I totally understand. And maybe this isn't the right thing to do because I'm just going to worry more, but maybe it will comfort me too. Thanks ladies!
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