Yes, I'm Still Complaining!

I have no one else to whine to so, you, dear Internet, get to hear me moan about my in-laws again. I forgot to mention one more thing on my list yesterday. My MIL has fake plants everywhere in this house. Even in pots. Outside.

10 Things I Learned About My In-Laws This Weekend

It's finally done! All the moving and driving and lifting is done. It was a HUGE amount of work and we still have a lot to do to get settled here, but things are moving along. The girls are doing well. I think they actually enjoy sharing a room, although I'd love it if they didn't wake up so early.

The hardest part has been dealing with all the crap at my in-laws house. I put together a handy little list so you can get an idea of what I've been dealing with all weekend.

10 Things I've Learned About My In-Laws

10. They have the worst cable provider ever. We don't get Noggin or Boomerang. That means no Dora, no Little Bill, no Baby Looney Tunes.

9. My MIL has tons and tons of sheets.

8. The floors were filthy. My MIL does not own a vacuum.

7. Who leaves leftovers in the refrigerator when they are leaving the country for 6 months?

6. It smells like old people here.

5. My MIL collects tupperware and plastic containers.

4. The dishwasher is disgusting. I'm not sure how old it is but there is so much soap buildup or calcium deposits or whatever that I won't wash my things in there.

3. This house is soooo not child friendly. I had to move the glass coffee table and put all the breakables on to a table in the dining room.

2. Giving the girls a bath in their tub is going to suck big time. It's way too small and they have sliding glass doors.

1. My MIL uses shampoo specifically for blondes but she is a brunette.


Oh and here's a bonus. Everywhere I look there are statues or pictures of the Virgin Mary. We even have a bottle of holy water in our room.

Needless to say it's been especially hard adjusting for me, but I think everyone else is holding up just fine.

Amidst all the moving stuff, my husband sang for the first time ever in a rock band. His brothers are in a punk band and decided to start a side project. They asked my husband to sing (which was kind of shocking to me because he doesn't even sing to the girls), and he's been practicing for a while now. They even made a CD. And on Friday they did their first live show. Here are my best shots for this fine Monday.

I'm Still Here

Just getting things settled with the move. A lot more work than I expected! In the meantime check out an interview I did with an up and coming photographer Paige. B Photography.

I'm Lost

I am overwhelmed with emotion. I feel so lost, so out of control. I don't know what to do, how to fix things.

Big J's behavior baffles me. She has been acting mean and disrespectful towards my husband and me. She talks back. She makes faces. She yells. She screams. She just doesn't listen. Part of me thinks she doesn't care either and that's the most troubling.

Today, I cried in front of her. I was so upset that I cried. She just stared at me. I think she was confused or maybe even a little frightened. I didn't know what else to do. I felt so frustrated and the tears started rolling.

It was after her bath. I asked her not to splash her sister. She did it anyway. I told her to get out of the tub. She wouldn't listen. I 'helped' her out of the tub. She stood there, looked me dead in the eye, dipped her hand back in the tub and splashed water all over the bathroom. I yelled and told her to get in her room.

We went back and forth, yelling at each other. I hate that it ends like this. It always ends like this. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to handle her. I feel so guilty all the time. But I'm also frustrated. I won't tolerate being treated this way. I understand that she's only 4 but she's knows what it means to hurt someone's feelings. She understands what it means to disobey. She's old enough to follow the rules.

What am I doing wrong? How can I change things?

When Big J was little she was evaluated by a program called Early Intervention. I contacted them because of her eating problems but they also test for developmental delays that relate to behavior. They came to the house and asked me a ton of questions and observed her while she ate and played. When I found out the results I wasn't surprised to hear that they suggested a behaviorist.

I always felt that something wasn't right. She over-reacted to everything. She would have a fit if the sun was in her eyes or if it was too windy outside. Her sense were overloaded and that made it very difficult for her to deal with things someone else might just brush off. She gets frustrated easily. She feels things so deeply. I thought as she got older that it would get easier. People always say that you need give children the power to label their feelings and a chance to talk about them. Well, Big J was always really good at expressing herself. She still is. She'll tell me when she's angry or upset or sad, but her first instinct is to yell or throw something. If Little J is crying and it's too loud for her to handle, she will get in her face and scream or she'll take her arm and squeeze it.

The bathtub incident was the second time today that she was sent to her room. I brought them both to the food store this afternoon and she was acting up again. She was being rude and I put her in a time out as soon as we got home. She ended up falling asleep.

I'm worried about her. We're moving this week and I don't want all this stress surrounding us. I don't want to yell. I am tired of feeling so bad all the time. I wish I knew the answers. I wish it were easier. I just hope I'm doing right by her. I hope I'm the mom she needs to bring out the best in her.

Weekend Wrap-Up

This weekend was full of First Communions. Unfortunately, I had to miss my neice's first Communion. Instead we had tickets to go see "The Little Mermaid," on Broadway. It was so much fun! We drove to my sister's house in Staten Island and then took the ferry in to Manhattan.

Big J was so good during the show. She even sat through the intermission without a potty break. Our seats were pretty far away but it was still a great show. I definitely recommend it. The website says the show is appropriate for children ages 6 and up but Big J did just fine (she's 4). I guess it all depends on the child.

I worked yesterday and we had four first Communion sessions. Is it just around here that pictures for a Communion are a big deal? One woman spent more than $600 on photos of her daughter. I'm not sure I'll do that when my girls are of age. Maybe one or two but certainly not $600 worth.

So this week we'll be super busy getting last minute things ready for our move on Wednesday. I'm so bummed because I have to work Tuesday and Wednesday night, which means I won't be there for bedtime on the girls first night in a new house. I actually feel really bad and might ask someone to cover for me. I'll also miss their last night in this house because of work. I just hope my husband will be sensitive and talk to Big J about what's going on. I think I'm going to have to remind him. I want him to get her to talk about what she'll miss most and what her favorite memories were in this house. He thinks she doesn't care, that it's no big deal. And while it might not be, I still think it's important for her to verbalize her feelings.

What do you think? She's 4 ~ is she too little to really care about moving?

Totally Buggin

Any ideas on how to get my daughter over her bug phobia? Yesterday we had a playdate with her cousin, one of her favorite people in the world, and the whole time she kept asking to go inside. At one point, she had a complete freakout when a tiny bug flew into her eye. She was almost shaking!

Mostly her fear is of bees. A while back she was with my sister-in-law when she was stung by multiple bees. I'm sure that's why she's so scared but now the phobia extends to bugs of all shapes and sizes.

Today she has another playdate and I said the weather is going to be so nice that we can play outside again. Her first question? "Will there be bugs outside again?"

I told her that we would go to the library and take out a book on bugs so that she could learn all about them. Hopefully that will help her understand that not all bugs are bad. I'm not sure what else to do. Ideas?