1.28.2006

Mommy Rant

I'm having a hard time trying to figure out what to write. I want to write about what an ass my husband is, but this is supposed to be a blog about parenting. Still, he's a big part of that so I'm just going to vent.

Becoming a mom has been such an adjustment for me, more so than I could have ever imagined. I thought he would be there for me every step of the way and it hasn't been like that. Instead I feel like we're always at odds. Turns out we have completely different parenting styles. Basically, I do EVERYTHING and he doesn't want to be bothered. I'm sure that's the reality for a lot of women though. Why is it so hard for men to do the little things? Get off your butt and change a diaper, play with her, give her a bath, read her a story, anything other than turn on the TV and pop in a video. Don't wait for me to ask you to get her dressed, just do it. Get your hands dirty, play with finger paint or color for pete's sake. Don't act baffled when she wants mommy, mommy, mommy instead of daddy.

I have to admit that he doesn't have it easy. He works all day long and our daughter is difficult. She's not very easygoing so it can make family outings a pain in the butt more than a pleasure. Still, I don't think he tries hard enough. I'm doing everything I can to keep my head up and I feel like I have no support. I don't have very many girlfriends....oh heck, I don't have any. None that I could call on at a moment's notice and grab a margarita with. My husband, on the other hand, has a bunch of buddies he hangs out with. Is it wrong of me to complain about how much time he spends with them? He goes to the movies, he goes out to lunch, he has people over, he's out right now!

And what about the fact that we're raising a little girl...a little girl that I hope becomes a strong, confident young woman some day. I can't stand the way he talks to her. Or me for that matter. She's not a "bad girl" or a "brat" and I'm not a "bitch!"

Is this the way it's going to be? What about when we have another one? My life has been turned upside down and his hasn't changed one damn bit. I've sacrificed my mind, body and soul and he's still playing video games until 2 a.m.

Is there anyone else out there feeling this?

2 comments:

Nicole said...

Hang in there! I feel your pain, believe me. I want to scream when my husband has been with the kids for only 1/2 hour and he's already getting aggravated. I've been w/them all day!!

I don't think men always "get it." Maybe it's time you leave once in awhile in the evening so your husband has to figure it out. Spending some time alone at Panera enjoying a tea or coffee is just what you need.

Masha said...

I can just say from my big sister experience... my stepdad started to lug heavy grocery bags only when my mom was pregnant with her fourth. Until then, the mere idea of helping had never really crossed his mind. Amazing, huh. So, sad as it may seem, "train" you husband by debunking to go out somewhere even ALONE (freeeeeeeedom!! nodoby sitting on your lap and banging the salt shaker or throwing various objects) for a night a week. He'll live. And eventually become more involved.