Perfect Post Awards and the June Blog Exchange

Every month Lucinda and MommaK organize the perfect post awards, and anyone who would like to give a fellow blogger a perfect post award is welcome to participate. Check out their blogs to see who received an award.

My pick this month is Chicky Chicky Baby for her post, Ditzy Chick. Everything she writes seems so familiar. She does a wonderful job of capturing the ups and downs of being a mom. Congratulations mama, you are an inspiration!

Also, I was supposed to participate in the June Blog Exchange that Kristen organizes every month, but my partner is MIA so she was kind enough to put my post up at Motherhood Uncensored. Please go check it out. Really, go ahead. Right now ~ I'll wait.

And let me know what you think. I was in such a funk yesterday when I wrote it and I'm curious if you've ever felt the same way.

Thanks, and don't forget to check back for the rest of my Celebrity Sighting story. I know you're just dying to find out!

My First Celebrity Encounter

It was more than 5 years ago. I was working as an editorial assistant at a teen magazine and we were throwing a pre-MTV Video Music Awards party at some swank bar in Manhattan.

It was the first time our tiny little magazine was doing something so grand. We sent out invites to big wigs in the industry ~ publicists, managers, actors, and musicians. Everyone who was anyone in the teen world. The response was not great. In this day of expensive giveaways, we weren't offering anything but a night on the town before the big awards show.

When the event started, we were all a bundle of nerves. Would anyone show? Would we be the laughing stock of the publishing world? Not only were the best of the best invited to attend, only the most responsible employees were allowed at the party. My boss didn't want us acting like crazed fans flirting with the guests. I was so excited to be one of them.

The first hour was torture. People were trickling in, but no one of substance. All we needed was one decent star to make the party a success. Another hour flew by and still no celeb sightings.

Then, finally someone came. It was Mandy Moore. She was a pretty big teen star back in the day. Not like Britney or Christina, but a name nonetheless.

More stars showed up. LFO, O Town, even a few members from 'NSync. Of course, I don't remember all of their names now because their time in the spotlight was limited, but you get the picture. The party was a success and now we could sit back and actually enjoy the night.

There was a room upstairs that was considered V.I.P. Employees were not supposed to be up there. It was a place for the stars to mingle with each other. My boss tried kicking everyone out but we just ignored him. I was chatting with one of the girls I worked with when she looked over my shoulder and let out a squeal. She motioned for me to turn around. When I did, I couldn't believe my eyes.

Sitting right there, in the same bar that I was in, was a real deal celebrity. A star. An Academy Award winner! I couldn't believe it. I wanted to go over and say hi but I was frozen with fear. What would I say? I loved you in "so and so." Surely that would sound lame. I needed to think of something clever. Something that would make him remember me. Something that would make him fall madly in love with me and want to take me away to Hollywood and pamper me with lavish gifts and exotic vacations.

I finally mustered up the nerve to go over. I sat down with my back facing him as if to pretend he wasn't really there. I casually turned towards him and said hello. He smiled and I melted. I paused for a minute, reaching down deep for the courage to go on. And then it happened. I spoke.

"So where are Jay and Silent Bob?"

Can you guess who who I totally embarrassed myself in front of? Tune in for the rest of the story tomorrow!!


Pretty in Pink

Both J and I have pink eye! Yuck! I didn't think this damn disease even existed anymore. We're off to the doctor today.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Mine was great!

Oh, someone mentioned that my page is not loading since Sandra did my fabulous redesign. Is anyone else having problems??

Speaking of Sandra I need to thank her again for my pretty new page. I can't tell you how many times I bugged her over e-mail to help me fix something or change a picture and every time she was nice enough to help me. How many people do you know who would put up with that and not expect anything in return? So do me a favor would ya, stop by Sandra's blog and tell her how wonderful she is!

;) Smooches!


You Gotta Love This

This sight I stumbled upon while getting up to pee early yesterday morning.

J hasn't been sleeping well lately. She's been sick with a cold and pink eye - yuck! Well, she must have gotten up early and laid down in the hallway in front of her room. I gotta give her credit though because our rule is don't go downstairs without mommy and she didn't. Poor thing must have fallen asleep waiting for my lazy ass to get up!


My Day in Pictures

J's new swingset. Hubby built it over the weekend and she loves it. I thought I would too until I realized I would be standing there for hours pushing her on the swing. Mama's got to teach her to pump those legs!

My parenting philosophy involves putting children to work as early as possible. J is watering the new grass in our backyard.

On the menu for dinner: egg noodles and corn. Hey, I never claimed to be a gourmet cook. The important thing to notice is that the plate is full.

And now the plate is EMPTY!!! She ate all of the noodles! Yay!!


My Salvation ... I Think

In a few short weeks it will be one whole year since we moved into this house. I've met most of my neighbors and they are all very nice, but they pretty much keep to themselves. There are a few kids on the block but no one around J's age.

And then there's Jessie. She is right next door, to the left. Our houses are so close that she can see into my kitchen window when she's sitting on her deck. I know when she's coming and going because I can hear her car door shut. I can sometimes hear her baby crying if she has the windows open. She was pregnant when we moved in and now Natalie is almost 6 months old.

Jessie is the perfect neighbor. She's lived in this town all of her life. She knows everyone. Her father is the fire chief. She really should run for mayor.

She has a bubbly personality. The type that draws people in. She's fun and easy going and she's already offered to watch J whenever hubby and I want to go out to dinner.

I feel selfish in saying that I'm glad she's not moving (she has her house on the market, had a full price offer, and then backed out). I haven't known her very long but I think we could be really good friends. The kind of friend that brings over a bottle of wine after the kids are in bed. The kind that wants to take walks with the kids and says come on over whenever you want. The kind that invites you to get a pedicure and then pays for you.

That's what I did last night. She wisked me off to a nail salon and I had my piggies painted. Hot pink! The last time I had a pedicure was probably more than a year ago. I just don't do things like that for myself. I want to, but I just don't. There's never time, there's never money, there's never anyone to watch J.

We talked the whole time about giving birth, about her boyfriend (she is divorced and got knocked up by some guy who now rents the house next door - tricky sitch), about her post-partum depression, and what it's like to be a single mom. I bitched about my husband (what else is knew) and about wanting another baby.

It was so nice to sit back, relax and just chat. I don't have many girlfriends and the ones I do have kids and are busy. Plus, they just don't make the effort anymore. This sounds silly to say but I was kinda hoping that Jessie will fill that void. The part of me that feels lost and lonely. I have my mom and my sister but they both live far away. I don't have anyone here, close to me, that will say things like, "get a sitter, we're going to the movies," or "I love my baby, but sometimes it really sucks being a mom." Am I expecting too much? I guess I should just play it by ear.

Making new friends is so hard. I don't want to overstep my bounds and scare her off, but I could really use a gal pal right now. Have you made any new friends since becoming a mom? Are there are rules I should be aware of?


And So Begins the Party Season

This time of year is so busy. J is turning 3 in just two weeks and my sister is getting married in two months. Not to mention graduations, baptisms, bridal showers, and more birthdays.

Two of my favorite women are growing up. J will no longer be a toddler, but a preschooler. And my sister is no longer among the single set. She will be a married woman and boy how things will change. I expect her to get pregnant right away. She thinks that because we're turning 30 in a few short months, that she's behind in the baby race. I keep telling her not to rush. Enjoy married life for a little while.

I've been debating for a while whether to bring J to the wedding. My sis wants her as a flower girl, but I think it's going to be a disaster. I just don't want to have to worry about her. I want to enjoy my sister's wedding. Of course, I am a glass-is-half-empty kinda girl, always assuming the worse. J could be an angel. She was surprisingly well-behaved at a communion a couple weeks back.

It's just ... this is my sister. My twin sister. My best friend in the whole world. The person to which I owe my entire personality. I mean, how could I be the person I am today without her? I want to be there for her, without interruption.

What do you think? I've been trying to get a babysitter to come and at least take her home for the reception. The problem is the wedding is about an hour away from where I, or anyone I know, lives. I am going to have to pay someone to travel. It's worth it, right?


Holy Shit!

Cafepress has bumper stickers. What do you say we set up shop??

How Do You Like My New Look?

So I've finally decorated. What do you think?

Thanks so much to Sandra. You rock mama!


Bumper Sticker Frenzy

Yesterday I was driving and saw a funny bumper sticker.

"Hang up your phone and drive asshole."

Do you know how many times I've wanted to scream that at some idiot driver who's not paying attention. But then I thought for a minute, shit sometimes that's me. Doh!

Then I wondered how many times someone has cursed me in their car. Okay so I'm swerving a little, but I've got one hand on the wheel and the other hand in the back seat fishing around for the toy my daughter dropped. So I hesitated two seconds before stepping on the gas at a green light. Don't honk your horn, I'm turned around singing "Old McDonald" to my fussy toddler. I didn't see the damn light change.

Listen, I have no patience for people when I'm on the road either so I get that you're annoyed by me, but I'm a mom, I've got a million things on my mind and a whining 3 year-old in the back seat. Maybe we need a bumper sticker for that. So here's what I came up with ...

My Kid is on the Honor Roll at Pain in the Ass Preschool
Honk if You Have Stretch Marks
My Toddler is Driving
How Well Do You Drive on 3 Hours of Sleep?
I'm a Mom, Cut Me Some Slack
Mommy and the Ferocious Beast on Board

What would your bumper sticker say?


Lessons Learned at The Little Gym

I've been working there for a little under a year now. I didn't apply for the job, it just kind of fell in my lap. At first I was hesitant. Who wants to work in a place with screaming toddlers when I have one of my own at home? Not me!

But I, excuse me, WE needed the money. So I trained for months and slowly got used to the sore back and achy shoulders. Now I love it! I love seeing the kids and how much fun they have. The downside is dealing with moms. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE MOMS! I am one for pete's sake. But there are a lot of moms out there who just don't get it. They seem annoyed or inconvenienced by their role as parent. I guess it gets in the way of chatting up their girlfriends or working out at the gym. Again, I am a mom and I get that it's hard. Trust me, I get it. But I still think when you sign them up for a mommy and me type class, it's probably a good idea to actually participate. To spend time with them, help them up on the balance beam, remind them to tuck their head when doing a forward roll, yada, yada, yada.

I've learned a lot from these moms though - basically what not to do. So I thought I'd share with you these pearls of wisdom.

-There are many different kinds of moms.

-As difficult as you think your child is, there is always someone worse off.

-Don't call your child chubby, chunky, big, or beefy. He may be only 20 months but eventually he's going to understand what you're saying and internalize it.

-Don't join the Little Gym if you simply want to sit and chat with your friends. It's a parent/child class, get involved!

-Don't force your child to do anything, it will only backfire.

-Your little one looks to you to figure out how to feel about things. If you give him a nervous smile and cringe every time he attempts to walk on the balance beam or jump off a springboard he's going to think he can't do it or that he's going to fall. Show no fear! Smile big and clap (and just make sure you stay close in case he does fall). This isn't just true for gymnastics either. If you make a face everytime he goes to eat a spoonful of those stinky ass peas, he's going to get the message loud and clear. Fake it mama!

What have you learned from your job that has helped you be a better mother? If you stay home with your little one, what secrets have you learned from watching other moms?


Sorry Friends

I don't think I'm going to be able to post today because my hubby is home from work. He doesn't know about the blog and whenever I spend more than 5 minutes on the computer he ends up standing over my shoulder.

Do you think I should just tell him and get it over with? I don't want to because then I won't be able to write honestly and complain and that's why I am here.

This is a pain in the ass though. I had a great post planned on all the things I've leanred working at The Little Gym. Like how NOT to discipline your child in a room full of parents and ... goddamit, he's calling my name. I'll try to check in later!!!


In a Sleepy Haze

J decided to wake up at 3 a.m. last night and come into our bed, which she NEVER does. She tossed and turned for about an hour and I had enough so I put her back in her room. She woke up again at 6:30 and is raring to go.

I, on the other hand, have yet to wipe the sleep out of my eyes and I have to get ready for work in 10 minutes. Instead of a real post, I'm leaving you with a little poem I wrote. Have a nice day!

Mommy loves my fingers.
Mommy loves my toes.
Mommy loves my smile.
She always tell me so.

I love my mommy's kisses.
I love her great big hugs.
I love her to the moon and stars,
For all the things she does.


On the Verge of a Breakthrough

I am cringing at the thought of showing you guys this, but I am so excited! J has been doing awesome with her feeding therapy in the last two weeks and I am so proud of her. She is actually chewing!!! It's awkward and she's still very apprehensive but this is the first time I've felt hopeful in a long time.

Why am I cringing? Well you can hear my voice in the video and let's just say it's ain't pretty. Mad props to Izzy Mom for sharing hers, but mine sounds like Minnie Mouse. So turn the volume down real low and check out my little girl CHEWING!!!!

Video Hosting - Upload Video - Photo Sharing

P.S. Oh and yes, at the end she says, "and now I get a present!"

How was everyone's mother's day?!?!?


I Heart Mommy Bloggers

Whatever you call yourself - mom, mommy, mother, mama, mamacita - I consider you a friend. You make me smile, laugh, think, question, and live a little better. You are supportive and understanding. When I was going through a rough time, you were there for me with wise words and advice.

There are so many of you who I love to read, I wish there were more hours in the day. So thanks to all of you who make my days a little brighter. Thanks for sharing your stories and I hope you have a happy, happy Mother's Day!

Go check out Her Bad Mother for more about this mommy love fest!


I heard a conversation on the radio a few days ago that sparked my interest.

The topic: Things you should give up after you turn 30.

One of the suggestions was thong underwear. Other people called up and said low rise jeans or miniskirts. I don't wear any of those things, but I'm inclined to say, "if you've got it, flaunt it."

Still, I'm going to turn 30 in a few months and I wondered what is considered inappropriate.

Can I still burp really loud after I've had a lot of soda?
Can I still laugh at fart jokes and potty humor?
Can I still watch MTV?
Can I still read books like "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?"
Can I still hang out on Myspace?
Can I still blast my car radio so that the bass thunders and people stare?
Can I still get piss drunk and dance on table tops?
Can I still eat Fruit Loops for breakfast?
Can I still read magazines like US Weekly and wonder how in the hell Britney Spears is ever going to make a comeback now that she's pregnant again?

Is there anything you gave up after turning 30? If you're still in your 20's, do you think someone in their 30's should behave a certain way?


The Old Me

A lot of things have changed since I had my daughter. So much so that I feel like there are two completely different parts of me.

The Old Me would never leave the house without makeup.
The New Me never leaves the house without a stain on her shirt and bags under her eyes.

The Old Me could spend hours in a bookstore just browsing.
The New Me avoids bookstores knowing that my toddler will rip each and every book off the shelf and I'll have to carry her out screaming.

The Old Me would sleep until noon on the weekends.
The New Me is lucky if she can sleep past 7 on a Saturday.

The Old Me used to blast hip hop tunes on the car radio.
The New Me considers Jack Johnson the shiz.

The Old Me used to shave every day and pluck my eyebrows.
The New Me shaves once a week and is sporting the bushy brow look.

The Old Me used to sit, curled up on the couch, pen in hand and write about my past and my dreams for the future.
The New Me is struggling to figure out what happened to those dreams.

The Old Me wants to kick the New Me in the ass for being so wrapped up in my own head that I can't see what's really great about my life sometimes.


50 Cent For Toddlers

Go shorty
It's your bath day
We gon' scrub it like it's your bath day
We gon' kick it slippery like it's your bath day
And you know we gon' get our duck
cause it's your bath day!

You can find me In Da Tub
Bottle full of Bub
Momma I want to get clean
I need to get wet cause
I'm into keeping clean, I ain't into dirty scuzz
So come give me a hug
If you're into soapy love.

My eyes they watch the water flow
I bring my toys and things
My Pooh, my Elmo, my robe, my jammies
Look mama I done cleaned up and I ain't blue.


Ok so I couldn't do the whole song, but this is hard. Mad props to GGC for keeping it real!


My First Renter! Check Her Out!

I finally figured out how to use Blog Explosion! Yay for me!

Go check out my very first renter. She's a working mother of two wonderful boys who keep her on her toes every day. Plus, she's got a really cool profile pic. So go say hi and tell her J's Mommy sent ya!


Word For Word

My daughter is in a fun stage in her development. Everything has to be exact, there's no room for mistakes. She knows what she knows and you can't deviate. This is especially true of her language skills. You have to be very specific.

"Julianna, can you go put your sneakers on?"
"No, my Dora shoes!"

"Julianna, eat your breakfast please."
"No, my oatmeal!"

"Julianna, where's your jacket?"
"No, my rain coat."

You have to make sure you refer to each and every thing by the correct name or else she won't listen. I guess I should have known better when I asked her this question yesterday ...

"Julianna, is Coco a dog?"
No, she's a pain in the ass!"


A Photo Update

With all the drama that's been going on in my house, I haven't been writing about all the new and wonderful things J has been doing. For your viewing pleasure ...

My little girl is drawing smiley faces!

She loves to entertain herself with bubbles.

We bought a trampoline. Girlfriend loves to jump!

My budding Picaso!

She wrote a book at school ~ her first best-seller!

Our dog Coco has been enjoying the warm weather. Lazy bitch!

Finally, An Apology

In my e-mail yesterday ...

I never meant to hurt you
the way I know I have.
Your love means more to me
than anything and I'll do whatever it takes
to prove that to you.

Since the day I met you and
your love touched my heart
I knew that my life would never be the same.

Please forgive me for the pain I've caused.
I'll make it up to you every chance I get.
You have my heart and my love forever.


Feelin' The Love

I heart you guys. I really do! I never would have guessed when I first started this blog that I would come to depend on your wisdom and support. I wish I could thank each and every one of you personally. Oh wait ... I can ...

Domesticator - I do want to stay in this marriage so I will definitely think about counseling. Hubby and I have actually talked about it before, but I always thought it would be too expensive since our insurance blows.

Rhonda - I felt those hugs and thanks so much for thinking of me.

Kristen - I definitely need at least one day to myself and that is something I am going to fight for when hubby and I do finally have this talk. I was thinking about coming up with a specific day - a day that is mine to do whatever I please. I was also thinking about coming up with a schedule (sort of like Supernanny) and assign different tasks that each of us are responsible for. For instance, on Wednesday nights, hubby gives J her bath and puts her to bed. A new routine that would split the work. What do you think?

Sunshine Scribe - thanks for the love and good wishes. You rock!

Sandra - It makes me feel a little better knowing my husband is not the only married man who still plays video games! The communication part is what's hard for my guy. He grew up listening to his father call his mother names and he treats her the same way. I'll never forget the first time I heard them fight. They hurled insults at each other like it was going out of style and I was shocked. If I EVER spoke to my parents that way, I would have been in big trouble. I should have seen the red flags the day my hubby cursed at his mom. I try to explain to him that just because "that's all he's ever known," it doesn't mean it's right.

Denise - Thanks for being my cyber-support!

Nancy - I don't take full responsibility for the state of my marriage today, but I do believe it's up to me to try and turn it around, if not for me then for my daughter. I do agree that we need to stop playing the blame game. It's been one of our biggest problems. We start fighting about one thing and then bring up old issues. Before you know it, we have no idea what the original arguement was about.

Meg, Mama M, Mrs. Chicky, and Nine Pound Dictator thanks so much for the positive words and advice.

Juliabohemian and Nicole - I will try to use 'I' statements instead of 'you' to keep hubby off the defensive. I can see how that would make him feel like I'm attacking him instead of trying to come up with a way to make things work.

And everyone else - Christina, Chelle, Mommy Does it All and Holymama! - I appreacite all of the kind words and really have come to love this new group of cyber friends.

You and I Collide

Have you heard this song? Hubby came to me a couple days ago and said it describes us perfectly.

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

He's right. We're at opposite ends of the world. Somehow I've got to bridge the gap or our marriage will crumble.

But I don't know how to do that. There's so much hurt and resentment. With each fight it's getting harder and harder to forgive. It takes longer to come back together.

We haven't talked about this last arguement yet. I'm just not up for the battle. I know how it's going to go. He'll say that he did nothing wrong, that I should have asked him for help. He's a master at twisting things around.

I'm willing to admit that I should have been more verbal about needing a break, but I did drop clues. Plus, he made it very clear that I wasn't a priority that day. On any other day, he would have been there, but that day was the NFL draft AND a Devils playoff game. Plus, he just had to help his neice try and beat this new copmuter game.

Maybe that's where the anger really comes from. That I wasn't a thought at all. That there were more important things to deal with than me. This is where it gets tricky. If I tell him that, he'll brush it off and turn the tables on me.

So the conversation needs to take place, I'm just planning my defense. What can I say that will get through to him? That won't get twisted around and end up with me apologizing. It's going to be difficult because I've already waited to long. I've left room for doubt to set in, for the details to get cloudy. After a few minutes we won't remember what we're fighting about and the conversation will turn into a blame game.


and the Perfect Post Award goes to ...

Sweatpantsmom for her hilarious solution to dealing with rude comments.

"So what I've decided I need is some sort of official system for coming up with the perfect comeback at the right time. Perhaps some conditioning exercises to prepare me for the unsolicited attack - I could have Rigel hurl insults at me while I practice replying with pre-scripted responses while timed. Maybe it's a 'one size fits all' retort, such as, "Bite me, skank whore." I could try a cheat-sheet approach, where I have several juicy lines written on index cards that I keep in my purse. That way, once insulted, I'd be ready with, "Oh yeah? You're gonna regret this in around thirty seconds or so. Just you wait till I get my notes out, buddy."

Go check out all the Perfect Post winners here and here.

And keep scrolling down to see my guest poster ... really, keep going ... I'll wait ... come on, you know you want to!