Why is it that my daughter won't eat regular food, but she has no problem shoving Play-Doh in her mouth???


J's Real Family

They're a colorful bunch - different ages, different races, different species - and they all live happily together on a farm in Iowa.

Can't ... Think ...

I find it so hard to think of something to write about on mornings that I work. I have to be up so early and my brain just doesn't function well. So, I've decided to go where no blogger has gone before ... back to the good 'ol days when I had no lurkers ... back to the days when I had no commenters ... back ... to ... three months ago!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

My daughter caught a glimpse of her daddy after he stepped out of the shower today and shouted, "Daddy has a tail!"

When J gets a shock she says, "Ouch mommy, I got a sponge!"

This morning, J pointed to a freckle on my shoulder and said, "Mommy's buckle!"

J and I were outside playing and it was really windy. She looked up at the trees and said, "Oh no, the trees are breaking!"

In the cookie aisle at the food store, she pointed to Oreos and said, "crappy-o's" Not sure why though becase I LOVE me some Oreos!

Today in Target a baby was crying and my 3 year old started yelling "Everyone cover your ears!" --juliabohemian

Oh like when monkey pointed to my hairy bush and said "mommy, ew." -- Chaotic World of Carrcakes

A few years ago, one of my stepdaughters said, "Look at that man! He's growing a bald spot!" Another stepdaughter said, "I have a bulging headache!" But my all-time favorite was when my stepdaughter asked us one day after church, "If the guy who gives sermons is so great, why does everyone call him a pastard?" -- Suburban Turmoil

What has your darling little one said that had you rolling on the floor? Leave a comment and I'll add it to the list.


Word of the Year

Bet you don't know what it is? I'll give you a hint ~ it's a word I hope my daughter grows up to appreciate.


That was the most researched word of 2005 according to Merriam Webster online.

Here's the definition: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values: incorruptibility.

It's an important word, don't you think? Especially in today's world. I only hope my daughter grows up to be a great example of that word. That she always stands up for herself and her beliefs. That she has the confidence and the self-esteem to persevere. That she has the courage to speak out and not be bullied. That she is never made to feel ashamed or embarrassed because of her emotions.

I didn't have much integrity growing up. I never believed in myself the way I should have. I never appreciated my good qualities. I never stood up for myself. I was a doormat. My friends, my boyfriends, my family ~ I never wanted to disappoint them. I did what I was told and never asked questions.

It's an important word for every little girl. I am terrified of what the world is going to be like when my daughter becomes a teenager. Having strong morals, a sense of pride, knowing the difference between right and wrong ~ those are the things that are going to keep her safe. Well, along with an overprotective father!

It's a scary world out there. So, what do you say? How about we make a promise to our daughters. Let's teach them about pride, confidence, self-respect and ... integrity!!


My Favorite Places

My refrigerator is one of my favorite places. No, not because that's where the food is. It's where I hang all of J's school projects. When I look at it I see creativity. She loves to paint and color and cut with scissors (with help, of course). I love imagining that she'll be a great artist one day and instead of hanging pictures up on the fridge, I can see them in a gallery.

My other favorite place is my closet. It's the one reason I agreed to buy this house. I grew up in a small house with midget closets. No really! The ceilings were slanted so I never had a true closet. I had to bend down every day to get my clothes out. Now, I have a closet to be proud of. It's not finished yet, but when it is you will all be jealous! OK maybe not, but I'd like to think so. I've never had anything that someone else was jealous of. So, just lie to me and tell me it's beautiful.

What's your favorite room in your house?


Dusting off the Cobwebs

If you've been reading this blog in the last few weeks, I want to say thanks. I don't deserve you! Big Hug! I love reading all of your comments and it makes me feel part of a unique group of women who I've come to treasure.

Now, I've mentioned before that I've been spring cleaning ~ sort of. Not my house. Heaven forbid I should pick up a dust pan or break out the vacuum. I've been going through all the files on my computer and papers in my nightstand. You see, I used to be a writer. Ha! Sounds funny to say it now because it's been a struggle even putting a coherent sentence together lately. But, this blog, and all of your blogs, have inspired me to start practicing again. I don't know if I was ever really good, but writing makes me feel good. It's helpful to get my thoughts down on paper and out of my head. That's always been my problem. I think too much. Writing helps me let go and move on. Well, it used to. After I had my daughter, I was too busy to write. My brain was mush.

Now I feel like a human being again and I want to get back to writing. Having this blog has forced me to write everyday and that's the first step as far as I'm concerned. I've been reading so many great blogs lately. You all have been so inspiring. So, in the spirit of dusting off the cobwebs, I present yet another diary entry ~ this time from my 20's.

November, 11, 1998

Yesterday was my birthday. I am 22 years old. I hate that word - old. I’d rather think of myself as 22 years young. My birthday, this year, has been one of the most memorable. I went to the city to surprise my sister and I think my visit made her happy. It’s strange to share a birthday with someone for 20 years and then , all of a sudden, have to celebrate it alone.

I brought a little piece of home to her office in New York. Then, [my future hubby's] family threw a party for me. We ate vanilla cake with rainbow sprinkles. I tore open my birthday cards, pretending not to notice the money stuffed inside, and thanked everyone for thinking of me. Later we went to a bar and just when I was about to sit back and enjoy the final hours of my birthday, I spotted a familiar face across the room. It was him.

It's been almost four years since we’ve seen each other. My heart dropped into the dark spaces of my stomach where pain and regret lay. I had to decide quickly whether to recognize or ignore him. I chose to turn purposely away from the two and a half years that changed me forever. But, as the past always does, it snuck up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder.

My head was spinning because I had no idea what to say to you. hatever it was it was going to be long and mean. I never got to say the things I wanted to say to you after we broke up. I think in the beginning I was in love with the idea of escaping another relationship, not you. You were just a warm body, a shoulder to cry on, in the beginning. ventually, you weren’t even that. I sure as hell shouldn’t have expected to be happy with you. You made me feel worthless and stupid. You were a liar and everyone knew it except me. And what about the kicker, you didn’t tell me the condom ripped.

How dare you take my life in your hands. I am furious and dizzy with disgust. You knew and you didn’t tell me. Even when we found out, you acted like it was no big deal, like you had gotten another girl pregnant. I went through everything alone. I lied to my parents and my friends. I sat in your room, in the basement, in agonizing pain, bleeding from the operation, and you went to work. I had to call my mother to come get me and lie again as to why I looked like shit. I lost a piece of myself in that clinic and you didn’t care. For all I knew this had happened to you before. We never talked about it and it changed my entire life. I have never been able to forgive or forget. I can’t even face up to the fact that it even happened. I feel dirty and ashamed and it’s been 5 years. I want to be able to let go and forgive. I want to be able to tell somebody and not be afraid they will judge me.

Everything after that was a blur. I could kick myself now, letting it go for so long. You treated me like shit, yet you said you loved me. I know there must be good things to remember but I’ve forgotten them now. You took that away from me when you left me that day. I will never be the same. I don’t want to blame you, but I have burdened the grief long enough. I want recognition that you were involved - that it hasn’t been my lonely journey. I wanted your shoulder then, but you never offered. My anger turns quickly to sadness as I think about the damage that was done.

When I saw you last night I expected more and all you could say is “are you on something?” All that did was make me sure that we were never meant to be together. Well, I’m my fingers are tired from typing and so is my heart. I don’t want to think anymore about the baby we almost shared. Do you know that to this day I cannot say the words - what I did. don’t know if you will ever understand the effect that our relationship had on my life. In most ways it was, bad but I want to find what’s good. You helped to make me the person I am today and for that I guess I should thank you.

To this day, I still can't say the words.


Bad Poetry Alert!

I wrote this for my brother and his fiance when they got engaged.

Chris and Jocelyn, you’re just starting out
Happiness is in your future, we have no doubt.
But, when times get tough and you feel like jumping ship
Let me remind you of these important tips.

When Jocelyn gets you mad as wives do, of course
Listen to Obi Wan and use the force.
Keep your cool and talk it out
Nothing gets solved when you scream and shout.
And Jocelyn when Chris makes you mad as hell
Put his old Star Wars toys on Ebay to sell.
If he hogs the remote, cut him some slack,
If she likes to shop, get off her back.

Love each other for who you are,
A boy and a girl who met at a bar.
It was love at first sight, or so the story goes,
You were too drunk to tell so no one really knows.
Nine whole months we waited to hear,
That Chris had a girlfriend - Hooray! He's not queer!

It's a special thing finding the love of your life
And promising to be true as husband and wife.
So first came love and now a marriage
and hopefully next a designer baby carriage.


During Baby's First Year, I Couldn't Live Without ...

First, I'd like to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who commented about my post yesterday. It made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside and it's nice to know there are people out there who are going through the same thing. I <3 you all!

Now, if you've been to my blog before, you know I'm obsessed with magazines. A few of my posts have been based on interesting articles I've read. Like this and this.

I came across another one in a new magazine called Wondertime. Women revealed the things they just couldn't live without during baby's first year. So I started wondering about my own newborn necessities.

1. Boppy pillow
2. Baby Einstein
3. Tissues
4. Bouncy seat
5. My mother
6. Lansinoh cream
7. A binky
8. Takeout
9. Baby carrier
10. Tucks

What did you find the most useful in the weeks and months after your little one was born???


Calgon, Take Me Away

I need a vacation. No whining toddler. No jerky husband. Just me and a margarita.

I can't seem to catch a break lately. My daughter has been super clingy and my husband doesn't lift a finger to help ... with anything ... at all.

I actually had the nerve to ask him to help me clean yesterday and he flat out said no. I wasn't expecting him to jump up and start dusting the television, but his blatant refusal kind of took me off guard.

Anyway, it's been 4 days since we've had sex and I have no desire. I'm exhausted, even though I get 7, sometimes 8 hours of sleep. I don't know what my problem is. I just can't seem to put forth the effort. How horrible is that? Just one more thing to feel guilty about. Add that to the list!

You know what I need? A mommy soulmate! I don't have anyone to really talk to. I mean, I have two girlfriends from high school that I call my best friends, but if I'm being brutally honest, they're just not cutting it. I'm lucky if I talk to either one of them once a week. My mother is the closest thing to a best friend, but I don't want to disappoint her. I also don't want her to worry so I sugarcoat things.

I have a twin sister and she is awesome, but she's not a mommy. She's not even married. Not like that matters because men can be dickheads whether you've tied the knot or not.

I just need someone who understands. Someone who knows what I'm talking about when I say I've a bad day. Someone who understands how frustrating it is to bring a toddler into a store and then have to abandon a cart full of stuff to carry a screaming maniac out to the car. Someone who understands that I don't want to have sex tonight ... and maybe not tomorrow night ... and maybe not the next night either. I don't have a headache. I just don't want to.

Someone who understands that I'm a bitch all the time because I'm a mom and it's hard. Someone who doesn't make me feel bad for not always being the best mom - for losing my patience when I should be warm and caring, for yelling at my little girl, for wanting to leave and run away, for wanting a break from doing the SAME thing over and over again every day.

I need someone who understands me and my dreams (I have them you know). I need someone to motivate me, to comfort me, to support me, to nurture me, to force me to see the joy in parenting, the light at the end of the tunnel.

I wish it were my husband, but it's not.

So for now, it's you ~ my lovely blog.


I've Been Tagged

OK this is the first time I've been tagged so I'm going to play along. Go check out Life in the Sticks With all the Boys - she was cool enough to tag me. Hopefully, I'm doing this right. I am a virgin, ya know!

Four of the jobs I have had in my life:
1. Writer
2. Daycare worker
3. Waitress
4. Cashier at Treasure Island

Four Movies I would watch over and over agin:
1. Dirty Dancing
2. Pretty Woman
3. Breakfast Club
4. 40 Year-Old Virgin

Four places I have lived:
1. FP, NJ
2. EH, NJ
3. Verona, NJ
4. Roxbury, NJ

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Lost
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Sopranos
4. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

Four websites I visit daily:
1. Hotmail
2. Myspace
3. Any blogs I can fit in while J is playing or napping
4. E! Online

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Chocolate
2. Pasta
3. French Fries
4. Cereal (makes for a great diet, huh?)

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Sleeping
2. the Beach
3. Sleeping
4. the Beach

Four blogs I checked out in the last 30 minutes:
1. Life in the Sticks with all the Boys
2. What About Mommy?
3. Mom, Ma'am, Me
4. Girl's Gone Child

You should go check 'em out!

I've just been informed that my husband is on his way home from work. He is covering a late shift for someone and they asked him to work from home. Since he has no clue about this here blog, that means I probably won't get to write any more today. I wanted to post some more incoherent ramblings from my youth. Drats!!!!


Dora, Sign Language, and Teenage Ramblings

Weird title, I know, but those are the three things I want to share today.

My daughter shocked my hubby and I yesterday. He was counting in Spanish (why? I have no clue) and after he said cuatro my daughter yells "cinco." I turned to my husband and gave him a "how in the hell does she know that," look. He kept counting and paused to see if she knew any other numbers. She went all the way up to 10!! The only thing I can figure is that she learned it by watching Dora the Explorer.

My daughter is also obsessed with Baby Einstein. And when I say obsessed, I'm not just exaggerating for effect. She wakes up in the morning talking about it. Well, her latest binge has been Baby Wordsworth. In it, Marlee Matlin uses sign language and J has picked up about 10 words. She can sign table, piano, computer, thank you, thirsty, tired, happy, chair, swing, and refrigerator. Who says TV rots your brain?

Oh, and if you haven't checked out Diary of a Reluctant Housewife you need to get your butt over there ASAP. She has double dog dared us all to pull out those old teenage journal entries. Oh don't even act like you don't have them. She posted some lovely poetry from her youth and I thought it would be fun to take her up on her offer. I have to dig deeper for the poetry but here's a little sample from a deranged journal entry.

I am utterly and completely in love.
For the first time I know what love is.
I want to spend the rest of my life with him (I was 17!!)
He loves me back too and in a way that feels so good.
When we kiss everything around me disappears.
I want to spend every minute of every hour of every day with him.

UUGGGHHHHH Can you hear me puking?!?!?!?


Spring is Here!

Not that you'd know it by the weather here in sweet ole Jersey. It's friggin cold!

We spent the weekend at my parents house. I love going there. It is the only time I get to really relax. My husband usually huffs and puffs the whole time because he gets bored, but I don't mind just chilling in the house. I love watching my daughter and her grandma play together. They have such a great relationship!

My hubby doesn't understand a mother/daughter bond. He doesn't have that with his mom. In fact, I think he gets jealous sometimes. My mom and I talk on the phone everyday, sometimes more than once. We are like two peas in a pod and I lean on her for everything. I wouldn't be the person I am today without all the love and support she gave us kids. I only hope that I am half the mother she was to my little girl.

J used the potty this weekend! It wasn't her first time, but it's been a while. She definitely knows when she has to go. I can leave her in underwear for more than an hour and then she'll come running up to me and say, "mommy I need a diaper." When I mention the potty she usually gets upset and says, "no, no, no."

This time when that happened I put on a pull-up, but still made her sit on the potty. I could tell when she was peeing so I just moved the diaper over a little and she listened to it splash in the potty. It was funny. She was soooo proud of herself and daddy did a little pee pee dance.

I am going crazy planning parties too. I'm throwing my hubby a surprise 30th birthday party in April and my sister's bridal shower in June. It's going to be a crazy couple of months.

I hope to get some stories up today while the beast naps so come by later and let me know what you think!



End of the Week Update

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

It's Friday and that means another feeding session. No luck with french fries today. She was just sucking on them. No biting or chewing. When she does bite a small piece off, she spits it out.

We tried to trick her today. I brought soda with the french fries and we put tiny pieces on the straw, hoping she wouldn't notice. At first she didn't want anything to do with it, but I got stern and told her she needed to try. You see, J's one weakness is the need to please. She doesn't like it when mommy is mad or sad. So if I tell her that what she's doing is making me angry, she'll stop. I tried to exploit that during the session and it worked. She swallowed a few tiny pieces of french fry with the soda. She also tried a piece of a grape.

It's so frustrating. On one hand, we've made so much progress. She's willing to put all kinds of food in her mouth ~ pizza, french fries, vegetables, ice pops, cookies, candy, peanut butter, etc. But she still won't chew. She still swallows everything whole. I just can't figure it out! Her therapist suggested taking her to a behaviorist. She believes, as do I, that J is fully capable of chewing and swallowing. It's not a question of mechanics. The bottom line is she's afraid! I just don't know how to help her anymore. I don't know how to break through. Now that she's got the vocabulary to express herself it's worse. She tells me she's "so scared." I try my hardest to reassure her. "Don't worry sweetie, if you chew your food it won't be scary. It will go down into your belly just like mommy and daddy."

I've even started using the 'big girl' angle. She will be turning 3 soon and I've started saying things like, "You're not a baby anymore. It's time to chew your food. Big girls eat big girl food. Your friends at school eat all by themselves. Yada, yada, yada." Who knows if that'll be the spark that ignites her curiosity.

In other news, I'm glad you guys were on my side about the Italy thing. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy when I say things to my husband and he tells me I'm overreacting. He's really good at making me second guess my feelings. Here's another gem from my hubby. Last night, while we were driving to his parents house for dinner, we started talking about money. I forget how we got on the topic but he said that, compared to his friends, he makes a good salary. I agreed. Then he added, "and I have nothing to show for it." COME ON! He's got a house, a car, the clothes on his back, a huge ass TV in the living room, food in the refrigerator and a million other things I can name that he should be grateful for. His response? "I hate my life."

I'm not even going to go into it, except to say that he's a master of pushing my buttons.

Lastly, I have been doing some spring cleaning and came across a lot of journal entries and stories I wrote before I had a baby and before I got married. I was thinking about posting some of them. So keep checking back for some orginal works by J's mommy!!!


Seperate Vacations?

So my husband turned to me last night and asked,

"Would you be mad if I went to Italy for a week?"


That's not even the best part. He didn't understand why I thought it was weird for him to take a vacation alone. Without me. Without his family. Especially since I've never been to Italy and really, really want to go.

Am I overreacting? Have you ever taken a solo vacation?


Does Your Hubby Need a Refresher Course?

Too tired to put any thought into a post today so here's something I thought was funny! Hope you enjoy!!!



Class 1
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 2
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 3
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 4
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 5
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 6
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 7
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 8
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 9
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 10
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.


My Dirty Little Secret

Screw anonymity ~ it's time to come clean.

My daughter has been outside my womb for almost 3 years now and I still wear maternity clothes!


I am not a flat-chested, 14 year-old beanstalk. I have hips, and thighs, and a lot of flab thanks to the weight I put on carrying a human being inside me. I don't want to wear clothes that cling to me. I want to hide my rolls, not define them with spandex. I want to be able to lift my arm over my head and not subject the people around me to pasty skin and stretch marks. I choose to wear my maternity shirts because they are longer, there is more fabric. Sure, I probably look ridiculous. In fact, my hubby has even said so on occasion, but I'm comfortable. Listen, I'm a young mom. I don't want to be wearing maternity shirts. I want to wear cute t-shirts. So Issac, Stella, Calvin and heck, even the people over at Kohl's and Old Navy (where I do most of my shopping) can you please help a mother out. Try designing clothes for real women with real bodies. I am so sick of always hiking up my jeans so my ass crack doesn't show. I want a wardrobe that flatters me, not one that shields me.


What's your mommy secret?

There Are No Words


Wanted: Mommy Moments

I wanted to hear about some of your 'mommy moments'

I had a good one today. J got her first haircut!! She was soo good and I ended up feeling bad because I thought it was going to be a disaster. What a nice surprise!

A mommy moment is what happens when you work 365 days a year without a vacation.

A mommy moment is remembering to bring your daughter's lunch, her favorite doll, her Dora backpack, extra diapers, her blankie and a sippy cup to daycare, but forgetting where in God's name you put your keys.

A mommy moment is crying in the parking lot at the grocery store because your toddler refuses to get in her carseat.

A mommy moment is hiding your daughter's favorite bedtime story because you just can't muster the strength to read it for the 1,000th time.

A mommy moment is getting dressed only to realize that none of your clothes fit right and the ones that do are from your maternity stash.

A mommy moment is when you look down and realize your shirt is still unbuttoned from the last time you breastfed. And you're in Target. Oops! -- Holymama!

Having Nick Jr. songs stuck in your head. It's so bad I wake up singing them. -- Something Baby Blue

A mommy moment is when you tell your daughter if she bothers her brother one more time she can't play with her Dora figures for the rest of the day (and then secretly hoping she bothers her brother again). -- What About Mommy?

Any time you have to drag your child, kicking and screaming, out of any type of social situation would be a mommy moment for me. -- Forks & Chopsticks

Bathing all three kids, making sure their teeth are brushed, and that they have clean jammies; then falling asleep in my clothes, on top of the sheets with fuzzy teeth. -- Chaotic Home

What would you describe as a mommy moment?


What Kind of Mom are You?

I am a magazine junkie. No, seriously! I lie to my husband about how many I buy, I skim money from the checking account to buy more, and I hide them all in a cabinet in my living room. Anyway, I read a great article in this month's Parenting by author Rosalind Wiseman. It's all about mom cliques. Where do you fit in?

Queen Bee Moms
They appear to have perfect lives, they're very charming and really, really like being in charge. She organizes her kid's social activities so there is no free time. If other parents don't like her it's because, "they're jealous." She's good at telling other people's secrets. When she or her child includes you or your child, you feel special. She won't apologize for her child's behavior.

Sidekick Moms
These moms define themselves in relation to a more powerful peer. They are second in command behind the Queen Bee. She organizes her child's activities according to the Queen Bee's schedule. She forces her child to be friends with the Queen Bee's kid. Won't apologize for her child's behavior unless they are considered to have higher social status. Focused on getting her child in the 'right' schools and joins in when other moms gossip.

Starbucks & Sympathy Moms
Their strength is at figuring out where other mothers feel vulnerable, gathering that information, and then spreading it around when it's most advantageous to them. They are happy to have their power based solely on their ability to wield power behind the scenes.

Torn Wannabes and Desperate Wannabes
Wannabe moms are always looking for opportunities to raise their stock in the social marketplace - which often means selling someone else short. There are two types - those who know better but can't help themselves (Torn) and those who don't know better and act like they're 12 (Desperate). Torn Wannabes are unpredictable and frustrating. She's the one who supports you during conflict but bolts at the moment of confrontation. She never tells you what she's thinking. She's great at rationalizing her behavior. The Desperate Wannabe is easier to dislike. She doesn't realize when her actions don't match her values. She name drops - a lot. She can also be really nasty if pushed.

Steamrolled Moms
They sacrifice their needs and judgments to avoid conflict. She's the one who's always saying, "Whatever you want is fine." She's unlikely to stand up for what she wants because she's afraid to offend. She's been so beaten by relationships in the past she's terrified to speak out. When she does, she's likely to salt her words with apologies. When she hears gossip she'll keep silent and then rehearse all the things she wished she'd said.

Floater Moms
These moms can move easily from one group to another without resentment. They are genuinely liked for who they are. She dresses appropriately and doesn't stand out. Her house isn't over the top, her car isn't fancy. They don't waste time on schoolgirl drama.

Reformed Moms
Able to analyze their behavior and make improvements. They often have the best sense of humor. Reformed Queen Bees have kept all of their positive qualities - fun to be around, charismatic, intelligent, and capable - and lost most of the negative attributes that made everyone miserable. Reformed moms aren't just Queen Bees, there are others walking around who are genuinely amazing women you'd want as friends. Sometimes they revert to old behavior, but when called on it, can admit it, apologize and move on.

Invisible Moms
Well-meaning parents who attend school functions, but never ever say a word. They have a few close relationships with other Invisible Moms.

Outcast Moms
These moms are so out of it. They don't live in the 'right' neighborhoods' or go to the 'right' church.' A woman who goes through divorce can easily find herself an Outcast. They might be gay parents or people of a minority religion. But they can also be conservative parents who send their kids to a more liberal school because of their academic excellence. Outcast Moms are vulnerable to dismissal or attack even if they don't call attention to themselves. However, they do enjoy a sense of freedom because speaking out doesn't bother them. What do they have to lose?

So where do you think you fit in? I would like to believe I am a Floater Mom; liked by everyone. In reality, I'm probably more like a Steamrolled Mom.

If you're interested in the full article, pick up the April 2006 issue of Parenting.


Is One Really the Loneliest Number?

I am so confused. My husband and I keep talking about when to start trying for another child, but it seems like we always have an excuse. My sister is getting married in July and I don't really want to be pregnant for that. We don't have enough money. We don't have enough room. Yada, yada, yada!

I just don't know what to do. Part of me says, screw it, none of that really matters. There's never a 'right' time to have a baby. There's always going to be an excuse for why it's better to wait. But, the longer I wait, the less and less I feel like I'm going to want one. Having a toddler is pretty cool, minus the tantrums and blatant disregard for everything I say. As she grows, so does my freedom and sense of self. Dare I say, I feel the 'old me' returning. Sounds selfish, huh?

I mean, if I really wanted another baby, would I care so much about everything else? Would I be making these excuses? Sometimes I feel like I'm giving in to peer pressure. "So when's the next one coming?" Or, "you can't have just one, who is J going to play with?" Or, "Only children are spoiled and selfish." (yes, someone actually said that to me.)

Do I really need to have another baby just so J doesn't grow up to be a spoiled brat? Can't I just raise her to be a well-adjusted, sympathetic, smart little girl?
I like our little threesome the way it is. Is that so wrong? Still, I can't help but melt every time I see a newborn smile or coo. And there are days when J is being so good, I think, "Hell yeah, I can do this." Plus, part of me wants another shot at doing things the right way. Having a child who eats Cheerios and plays in the sand.

Is it fear that's holding me captive, keeping me confused? If so, what do I do about that? Close my eyes and brave the storm? Or, listen and wait?

What made you decide to try for a second?


Are You Approachable?

For those of you curious cats who might be interested in hearing more about J's Mommy, check this out. I used to write for a teen magazine. My days were spent writing about pop stars, friendship faux pas, dating dilemmas, and beauty tips. Sounds like fun, but it was actually harder than you might think. Still, I had a blast because I will always be a teenager at heart. Anyway, I came across a quiz I wrote and thought you might like to see it. Have fun!!!

Are You Approachable?

Do people consider you warm and inviting? Or a little bit frightening? Find out if you're sending all the wrong signals.

1. Your principal calls an impromptu assembly. Students are piling in to the auditorium and seats are filling up fast. Luckily, you find two empty ones. Once seated, you …
A: look for a friend to join you.
B: wait patiently for the assembly to start.
C: throw your backpack on the other chair and tell people someone is already sitting there.

2. Your best friend is throwing a big bash for her 16th birthday. You'll probably spend most of the night …
A: glued to your best friend's side.
B: mingling with guests, making sure things go smooth.
C: in a corner, scoping the crowd.

3. You and your friends are hanging out at a movie theater when a couple of guys try to get your attention. You …
A: smile, but tell your buddies to keep moving.
B: make your way over for a little small talk.
C: roll your eyes and turn your back to them.

4. Your crush asks you to sit next to him during lunch. He's barely spoken a word to you all year and now he wants you to join him. All of a sudden, you get really nervous and …
A: start chatting up a storm.
B: sit quietly while he munches on a sandwich.
C: fold your arms and bite your lip.

5. Your friends would most likely describe you as …
A: the crazy hyper one of the group
B: the friendly one in the group with all the gossip
C: the private one in the group who can always keep a secret

6. You're at the bookstore and a really cute boy is flipping through the latest Harry Potter book. You …
A: tap him on the shoulder and say," Wait until you find out what happens at the end."
B: accidentally bump into him and tell him what a good choice he made.
C: watch and see if he buys the book.

7. In the hall at school you're usually …
A: rushing from class to class
B: chatting up your friends
C: going over notes for your next class

Clique Chick (mostly a's)
You're definitely on the social side and your body language is confident and outgoing. Making friends comes easily to you, but don't forget that running with a big crowd of friends can make you seem inaccessible to people who don't know you. Even the outgoing type can seem unapproachable sometimes, so keep an open mind about meeting new people.

Meet n' Greet Girl (mostly b's)
The new kid in school is always thrilled to spot you in a crowd. Even when you're not really paying attention to the scene around you, your easy-going image shines through. Hanging with different kinds of people sends guys and girls the message that you're totally down-to-earth and easy to talk to.

'Back Off' Babe (mostly c's)
Wake up, Wallflower! Your public's waiting. It may just be the jitters that are keeping you from putting yourself out there, but to everyone else, it seems like you've got better things on your mind. Nervous to strike up a conversation? Shake it off -- everyone has hang ups just like you. Knowing that everyone out there is a little self-conscious should make the social scene a little less scary.

If there's anything else you want to know, check out my 100 Things!


Sound Advice

The most annoying sounds a toddler can make ...


The most beautiful sound a toddler can make ...


Makes everything else pale in comparison!

Does your little one have any quirks that annoy you ... oops, I mean make you laugh?

Living in La La Land

I’d like to thank whoever sprinkled happy dust in my daughter’s oatmeal. She’s been so good for the last few days and I find myself hoping this phase is one that sticks around.

See, I’m not stupid. I said ‘phase’ because I know her days are numbered. Still, I’m actually enjoying motherhood for the first time in a really long while. Let’s all take a minute and mark the date because I’m sure I’ll be eating my words soon enough.


Oscar Fun

Did I say fun? Well, there were a few bright spots. Here are a few of my faves ...

Ben Stiller and his green screen bit.

Will Ferrell and Steve Carrell presenting for achievement in makeup.

Jennifer Garner almost wiping out on her way to the mic. She looked gorgeous though.

Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep presenting to Robert Altman.

Um, how hot is Salma Hayek?!?!?

Oh, and is it just me or did Jennifer Lopez look REALLY tan?

I love Phillip Seymour Hoffman, but all I hear when he talks is, "fucking idiot, I'm such a fucking idiot." (Boogie Nights)

Go Reese!!!Yay!!!!!

I loved "Crash" so I'm really happy they won. If you didn't see it, run to Blockbuster!

P.S. I put a poll up about Oscar’s worst dress. Go ahead, vote!!

Help Me Out Here

What is an appropriate amount of money to spend on a 3 year-olds birthday? We are going to a party today and I bought the guest of honor Hungry Hungry Hippos. It was probably about 12 bucks at Target (gotta love 'em). I was on the phone with a friend who will be attending and she was on her way out to pick up, "a couple of outfits for Michael." Now it's probably not that much money, maybe 20 or 30 bucks but does that make my gift a cheap one? Should I go out and buy something else now?

How much do you usually spend on kid's birthdays???


Do Opposites Really Attract?

My husband and I are about as different as two people can get. Don't believe me. Check this out ...

He loves video games, I think they're a waste of time.
He loves scary movies, I hate them.
He loves ethnic food, I am the pickiest eater you'll ever meet.
He likes big dogs, I like small dogs.
I love to dance, he has two left feet.
I love the beach, he'd rather go snowboarding.
I love to read, he thinks comic books are fascinating literature.
I love pop music, he loves punk music.
I could sit and watch MTV all day long, he actually gets angry when I mention those three letters.
I'm a laid back parent ~ I don't like to yell, he thinks screaming is the only way to get J to listen.

I rest my case. Now, some would argue that opposites are a good match because there's an opportunity to open the other person up to hobbies and experiences that would otherwise be lost. But, is it possible to be TOO different?

We share the same views on most of the big topics; religion, politics, finances. But when it comes to the little things, we just can't agree. We can't even sit down to watch a movie together because we both want something different. It almost always end in a fight. At some point I imagine we'll just stop trying and then what? Is my marriage doomed? Is there a way to bridge the gap?

In other news: Sorry this post is long enough already but today is Friday and we had feeding therapy. J actually ate a french fry!!! I mean sucked on it, bit a piece off and swallowed. She really swallowed!! I am ecstatic. She started out gagging and by the look on her face, I thought she was going to spit it out, but she surprised me and actually swallowed it. So there, I'm done! :)

Crazy (Yes) Hip (No) Blog (Yup) Mama (Always)

This is my entry for the writing collaboration at CHBM.

I love being a Crazy Hip Blog Mama!

My blog is a place where I can come and be brutally honest with myself. It's a place where I can breathe a sigh of relief after a hard day with J. It's a place to meet other moms who are struggling with the same issues. I don't feel so lonely knowing somewhere out there is another mom who is dealing with tantrums and potty training and sleepless nights.

It's also a place for me to express myself through writing. To practice the art of finding the right words. To feel like I'm more than just J's Mommy! Before I had my daughter I used to write all the time. In fact, that was my job. After I gave birth, it was impossible for me to put together an intelligent sentence, let alone write a story. My brain turned to mush after countless hours of baby talk and lullabys. Now that I have this blog, it forces me to think. To really think.

Plus, it's something that's all mine. That's a rare thing with kids ~ to have something all to yourself. I share everything with J. Heck, I can't go to the bathroom these days without having the door WIDE open. There's nowhere to hide when you have children. No place to drift off and daydream unless your little one is napping or it's late at night. This has become that place for me. I don't have to apologize for things I write. You have no idea who I am so I can be whoever I want to be. The real me!

Ahhh, it's feel so good to take my shoes off and let my belly hang out ~ stretch marks and all!


To Breastfeed or Not to Breastfeed

That is the question! For me, it was never an option. Of course I was going to breastfeed. My mother breastfed. All of my sister-in-laws breastfed. It seemed natural. Until I actually tried it, that is.

After I gave birth to J, I was having some difficulty getting her to latch on so a nurse came into my hospital room to try and help. "Oh, you have flat nipples. This isn't going to work." My first thought was "Flat nipples, what the hell does that mean?" Then, I felt like a complete failure. It never even entered my mind that there might be a problem. Now, there wasn't really a PROBLEM, but the nurse's reaction to my less-than-perky nipples made me feel as if it wasn't possible for me to breastfeed. Instead, all I needed were those god awful breast shields that are supposed to draw out your nipple (and consequently make your boobs a leaky mess).

So I started using the shields but it really wasn't helpful. I was in a lot of pain because she wasn't latching on the right way. I was also uncomfortable. I've seen women on television or in magazines who can breastfeed lying down or in a restaurant but I couldn't even get comfy on my couch with a boppy pillow holding her head up. My back hurt. I was sooooo over emotional and I wanted to stop trying. Guilt kept me going for at least 6 weeks but I bought a breast pump and gave her bottles of my milk for the last 2 or 3 weeks. My feeling was, at least she's getting the nutrients she needs.

Finally, I gave up and things got so much better. I was much more relaxed and the time I spent with J was just as special. I still held her close to me, I still got to gaze into those hazel eyes as she sucked down a bottle. I just couldn't believe how much guilt I felt. I felt like I was letting her down. My first task as a new mom and I couldn't even handle it.

Now my dilemma is this: what do I do with the next one? Do I try again, armed with the information that yes, my nipples are flat, but I'll just have to work harder. Or do I go straight to the bottle? Is my next child going to suffer because of my fears or inadequacies? It's a sensitive subject for a lot of moms. What would you do?

Oh and thanks to Mom-101 for the topic idea. Go check out her post about weaning!


What do you think?

I've changed my layout! What do you think? I wasn't too crazy about the pink and Blogger doesn't offer a lot of choices so here's what I picked. Any suggestions on how to spruce it up? I did what I could but I am so not a whiz with HTML. Oh and when I made the switcheroo all of my comments were wiped out so there's no evidence that anyone has ever been here. Boo hoo!! :(

So drop me a line and show me some love! My blog is so lonely!

100 Things

1. My name is Stacy.
2. I'll be married for 5 years in Sept. 2006.
3. I have a chihuahua named Coco.
4. I have a twin sister.
5. I have lived in NJ all my life.
6. My sister once dated my husband (a LONG time ago).
7. I love taking pictures.
8. I am a magazine junkie.
9. I love celebrity culture.
10. I used to write for a teen magazine called Twist. Yes, I've written quizzes like, "Are You a Flirt?"
11. I was Homecoming Queen my freshman year in high school.
12. I hate the care I drive. A Dodge Stratus
13. I miss my minivan.
14. I love to shop.
15. My mother and my sister are my best friends.
16. I wear contacts.
17. I love to eat out.
18. I hate to cook.
19. I want to publish a book someday. The problem is I have too many ideas and can't commit to one.
20. I love General Hospital.
21. I've moved 5 times already.
22. I met Ben Affleck.
23. I used to interview boy bands and teen stars.
24. I need to exercise more.
25. I want another child but I am terrified!
26. I used to play softball.
27. I love to sing (even though my voice is awful).
28. I've been compared to Alvin & the Chipmunks.
29. I love everything 80's.
30. I love MTV.
31. My current crush is Patrick Dempsey.
32. I love ice cream.
33. I live inside my head which can be a blessing and a curse (mostly it's a curse!)
34. My boobs are saggy.
35. I love to curse.
36. I work at The Little Gym.
37. I enjoy organizing things.
38. I wish I had a bigger laundry room.
39. I'm Catholic, although I'm not a good one.
40. I don't follow politics.
41. I've never been in the hospital (except for giving birth).
42. I grew up wanting to be famous (still secretly desire it).
43. I LOVE Oprah!!
44. I went to Aruba on my honeymoon.
45. I don't collect anything.
46. I never throw anything away.
47. I love reality TV!
48. This is so damn hard
49. I have blue eyes.
50. I hate my stomach.
51. I love Italian food.
52. I hate to throw up.
53. My favorite drink is a margarita.
54. I am scared to get pregnant again.
55. I actually feel sorry for Britney Spears.
56. I have never voted.
57. I can cry at the drop of a hat. Seriously!
58. A friend of mine committed suicide in high school.
59. I have been pregnant 3 times but only have 1 child (I was 16, then I had a miscarriage, then I had J).
60. My hubby's parents have a house in Italy that I have never been to but really want to see.
61. I graduated college with a degree in English.
62. I love the ocean.
63. I hate airplanes.
64. I hate cold weather.
65. I am addicted to awards shows.
66. I don't like to wear jewelry.
67. I wish I had a bigger house.
68. I LOVE chocolate.
69. I don't have sex with my husband as often as I should.
70. My husband has no idea about this blog.
71. I would love to go to Sundance one day.
72. Am I almost done yet?
73. My teeth are crooked.
74. I have nice feet.
75. My favorite color is purple.
76. I collect celebrity photo books.
77. Death scares the shit out of me.
78. I wish I was taller.
79. I wish I was skinnier.
80. I wish I had curly hair.
81. Am I annoying enough for you yet?
82. My daughter's favorite book right now is "Green Eggs and Ham."
83. Sometimes I don't like being a mom.
84. I ALWAYS feel quilty about something.
85. I've never been to the Statue of Liberty and I live only 30 minutes away.
86. It's taking me almost a week to complete this damn thing.
87. I used to have 2 dogs. Had to give one away when J was born because he kept peeing all over her toys.
88. I met my husband in a NYC nightclub that has since closed it's doors.
89. I had an amazing time at my wedding.
90. My sister is getting married in July and I can't wait.
91. I think I am a pretty good dancer.
92. I have 2 brothers.
93. There was a time growing up that I thought my parents were going to get divorced, but they stuck it out and I am soo happy for that.
94. I am the queen of unfinished projects.
95. I love the outdoors.
96. I am not very good with money.
97. I love to sing at the top of my lungs.
98. Sometimes I think I am dyslexic.
99. I would love to open a photography studio one take.
100. There is one thing I know for sure in this life: I am lucky to be alive and have a beautiful daughter and wonderful husband.