Do Opposites Really Attract?

My husband and I are about as different as two people can get. Don't believe me. Check this out ...

He loves video games, I think they're a waste of time.
He loves scary movies, I hate them.
He loves ethnic food, I am the pickiest eater you'll ever meet.
He likes big dogs, I like small dogs.
I love to dance, he has two left feet.
I love the beach, he'd rather go snowboarding.
I love to read, he thinks comic books are fascinating literature.
I love pop music, he loves punk music.
I could sit and watch MTV all day long, he actually gets angry when I mention those three letters.
I'm a laid back parent ~ I don't like to yell, he thinks screaming is the only way to get J to listen.

I rest my case. Now, some would argue that opposites are a good match because there's an opportunity to open the other person up to hobbies and experiences that would otherwise be lost. But, is it possible to be TOO different?

We share the same views on most of the big topics; religion, politics, finances. But when it comes to the little things, we just can't agree. We can't even sit down to watch a movie together because we both want something different. It almost always end in a fight. At some point I imagine we'll just stop trying and then what? Is my marriage doomed? Is there a way to bridge the gap?

In other news: Sorry this post is long enough already but today is Friday and we had feeding therapy. J actually ate a french fry!!! I mean sucked on it, bit a piece off and swallowed. She really swallowed!! I am ecstatic. She started out gagging and by the look on her face, I thought she was going to spit it out, but she surprised me and actually swallowed it. So there, I'm done! :)


Jess Riley said...

I know how you're feeling...especially on the video game, dancing, reading, & music issues. My husband and I usually like the same movies, but not always.

For us, as long as we agree on the "big" stuff you mention, we usually find a way to compromise. Or we just do our own things. It can be hard, though.

I think that as long as you're willing to compromise & respect one another's likes/dislikes, your marriage isn't doomed. Hang in there!

Mom101 said...

I'm reading your mail, mama. I've forgiven all the differences because at least I know our values are in the same place, including our utter disdain for the GOP.

It's nice not to have all the same hobbies. Your husband doesn't have to be joined at the hip with you, and I do think having your own stuff going on keeps marriages strong. As long as you can agree on basic parenting choices I think you'll survive his penchant for Black Flagg.

Nancy said...

I agree with the previous commenters -- as long as you share views on the same subjects, I think you're in great shape. My husband and I are the same way -- totally opposite in how we like to spend our free time. The way I see it, you can always have separate hobbies (and that can be healthy) but when you fight on the big stuff that's when it's hard.

One thing my hubby and I did do is chose a common hobby/interest to pursue together. We both got into hockey and share a love for our favorite NHL team. Now we talk about All Things Hockey. It does help.

Shana said...

Congrats on the french fry, that is wonderful!!! My daughter had similiar eating issues when she was little. I thought she'd be still eating stage 1 or 2 -- NOT 3, because the chunks made her throw up -- baby food until she graduated from high school. I know what a big deal it is.

Shana said...

Oh, totally forgot to say that my husband and I do NOT agree on the big issues -- religion, politics, finances. We also have completely different cultural backgrounds. We agree on a lot of the little stuff, though. Like the same movies, television, music. We're celebrating 11 years of marriage in a few months. As long as you have mutual respect, you'll be fine. Agree to disagree and don't make a big deal out of it.

Nicole said...

Congratulations on the french fry. Before you know it, she'll be a french fry freak and won't be able to get enough.

As for the opposites attract. You said you agree on big issues, so that's good. I agree, it's okay to have different likes/dislikes. It keeps you your own person. My husband and I both like different things, too. But, we both participate in the other's likes because we just like being together. You don't know how many video games I watched him play or long hikes I endured for him. But, he also suffered through many a craft show with me. Sometimes, you just have to go along with things you don't like to do just to grow closer and learn something more about your partner. I don't know if all that sounds corny, but it's worked for us.

grayelephant said...

great news about the french fry! anyway, our hubbies sound like they are from the same brood! my hubby and i are definitely opposites, too. i have the same concerns that one day we might just stop trying... sad. sad. sad (but on some days i'd be glad that it's a possibility that we will stop trying! i know, that's even sadder). :(

Juliabohemian said...

My husband and I are similarly different and it is a constant challenge in our relationship. I am into art, photo, nature. I am culturally literate. He is more into video games, comic books, movies like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. In fact, I was thrilled because watching Lord of the Rings prompted him to buy the books and he actually READ them. Sometimes I wonder if we are too different. But, then I wonder how well I could tolerate someone who is just like me.

kyra said...

my hubby and i are so VERY different in many areas too! but as you say, we share enough of the big things and i keep seeing the differences as opportunities to streeeeeeetch. him that is! tee hee ! no, me too, of course.

congrats on the french fry. perhaps it will be the love affair of a lifetime as it has been for me and is becoming for my son! french fries and potato chips. mmmmmmm.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you are getting help for your daughter NOW. My son just turned 13 and I truly believed he would grow out of the 'EXTREME' pickiness. He didn't. Your daughter sounds exactly as my son did at that age and all the experts told me he would grow out of it, or to starve him. He is 13 and all he will eat is yogurt, crackers and the occasional apple (if sliced thinly).

He IS showing some signs of wanting to eat new foods, this is good. I feel like a terrible mother but think back to my childhood (I ate little) and always figured he would grow out of it eventually.

Keep on with the therapy, I will check back often to read of your daughters progress!

Amy (amyswaterworks@telus.net)

Survivin said...

Thanks so much for sharing about the feeding therapy. My son is 3 and a 1/2 I've had so many issues with his eating habits. He hates anything that has a strange texture and only wants to eat corn, chicken nuggets and fries. It's been bothering me and his Doctor said he's going through a phase. How can a bright little boy go through a phase so long? Thanks for the insight.

Wendy said...

OMG are we living the same life? lol..my dh & I are opposites as well but my son went through feeding therapy last year - it is a long road but a french fry - wow! that is cause for celebration - i wish my son would eat a french fry! I saw those two things and I was like, did I write this and not know it? lol!

Anonymous said...

I just read your guest blog on CMHL, and realized that your daughter sounds like my 13 month-old son. I did not know this was common. My pediatrician keeps telling me to be patient, but my gut tells me that he has food issues. He has finally mastered cheerios after 6 months, but refuses most everything else other than baby cereal and stage 2 jars. I too am challenged with the gagging and throwing up when we put anything different or new in his mouth. Thanks for sharing.