6.09.2006

An Open Letter


Dear Toy Packaging Pricks,

This letter is to express concern about your mental health. You must be crazy to think that securing a toy in a box wrapped tighter than a corset is a good idea. Why must you make everything so goddam difficult to open?

My daughter celebrated her 3rd birthday this week and in between squeals of excitement were tears of frustration. She waited patiently as I, her mother, tried to pry off twisty things, cut through plastic, and break apart random cardboard. Eventually, she broke down as I tried to wrestle her brand new Little People free from their chains.

Why do you feel the need to torture parents of toddlers? Do you sit in a room and cackle at the thought of anxious moms breaking a sweat while trying to extract a new toy from its package? Does it make you giddy to know that we are silently cursing you fucking nutjobs?

I've got a brilliant idea for you ~ Zip Lock bags!

30 comments:

Wendy said...

oh my god. I could've written this post today - my parents are in and bought my son some stuff from TRU - 9 HOURS LATER..we got the stuff open - WTF? It's not cyanide! unreal...

mamatulip said...

Okay, seriously, I've shed blood trying to get toys out of packaging. Childproof I can understand...parentproof just sucks.

HeatherJ said...

I hate, hate, hate fisherprice if only for their packaging. I tell the G-folks that if they give the kids toys as gifts that are packaged like that to unpackage the toy before gift giving. Saves a lot on the three year old frustrations.

chelle said...

Oh Oh we learned our lesson. We so unpack what we can in advance. OR unpack one thing let her play with that and wrestle with the rest!!

Packaging is evil!

sweatpantsmom said...

Please send this letter.

I've always wondered what was behind all the insane toy packaging. When my girls were playing with Barbies, I couldn't believe all the plastic, thread and tape holding their hair onto the cardboard backing. More than once I contemplated cutting off their hair just to save myself some grief.

Nicole said...

I think we all feel your pain. Like others, I, too, have shed blood try to extract the toys quickly with a little one saying, "I want my new toy" over and over and over. If they continue to package it that way, they should come with a valium for the parents.

Pattie said...

I could not agree more! And those gray wire things are a choking hazard, aren't they?

Anonymous said...

OMG! I have been saying this very thing for years. I curse them on holidays and birthdays. I really and truly often wonder WTF are you thinking people? I also say that I would love to have that job. lol. Can you imagine twisting those wire things onto the packages everyday?lol

Mama of 2 said...

AMEN!!!!

Gina said...

I second that motion! Now how do we get Mattel, Hasbro, Disney, etc to read this post?

Sandra said...

LOL this is brilliant. HOw many times have I sat there trying to pry things open, and then they get more creative with the actual screws. Are you frigging kidding me??? How many toddler parents walk around with a screwdriver around their belts???

Thank you...I second the ziploc bags. LOL

Self-Proclaimed Supermom said...

I am so with you on the ziplocs. Oh man, whoever makes that packaging is absolutely insane!

Karla said...

Last year after Maddies 2nd birthday I came up with the idea of having a little kiosk in the mall or whever where their job is specifically to open all toys and put them in easier opening packaging. Save my fingers and my sanity. I'd pay for that

Jen said...

Oh I totally understand. It's awful! Absolutely awful!!

Undercover Angel said...

I absolutely hate it when toys are all twist tied and plastic clipped in the boxes. How do they ever expect a child to be able to get the toy out to play with it. The packaging is almost impossible for a parent to open. That's probably why toys are so expensive these days - they spend a fortune on all of those little contraptions they use to secure the toys in the packaging - and we, the consumers, wind up paying for that inconvenience...

Christina said...

Amen! Nothing is worse than a child getting the toy she's wanted then having to develop patience while the parent tries to free the toy from its S&M packaging. It usually ends in tears all around.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!!

Their packaging sucks and I hate them.

Nancy said...

I think the toy companies think that kids these days aren't imaginative enough to look at a regular package with just pictures and figure out what the toy would look like. Noooooo, it has to be in that clear package, with the colored background all the damn little pieces set up like a mini scene. (and then not only do you have to take the damn thing apart, but your kid wants to keep the colorful backdrop too!)

And it's also dangerous to just take the thing apart -- all those twisty-ties that you have to unwind and set aside, while your little impatient toddler (who should NOT be putting small things in her mouth) tries to grab them since she's bored waiting for the toy assembly.

But no, I haven't thought about this particular issue at all. ;-)

Kristen said...

I can never decide what I hate worse- the twisty ties on the kids' toys or when people tape boxes shut when they give you clothes...LOL

Mommy off the Record said...

I say we all copy your letter and mail them in to the company.

And I must say the number of twisty ties they put on their packaging is completely OUT OF CONTROL.

Mama M said...

LOL - this is awesome! Everytime we get a toy with that stupid super tied/wrapped packaging I just want to scream! Those twisty ties are such hazards lest one fall to the ground and into the hands of a curious little one too. Argh. I'm with you on this!

icancarryallthebagsandthebabiestoo said...

I just laughed so hard that I almost cried.

Needless to say, you speak for the world!

There needs to be a big parenting petition to end this maddness.

sunshine scribe said...

FINALLY! (2 finally's actually) ... finally someone wrote about this. And finally I can comment on your blog. I have been trying to for a week. First there was the blogger mess and then for some reason yours was the only site that wouldn't load for me (I am on Safari). I could read you on bloglines but not see your site. Ug.

Anyway. Happy birthday to J!

sunshine scribe said...

FINALLY! (2 finally's actually) ... finally someone wrote about this. And finally I can comment on your blog. I have been trying to for a week. First there was the blogger mess and then for some reason yours was the only site that wouldn't load for me (I am on Safari). I could read you on bloglines but not see your site. Ug.

Anyway. Happy birthday to J!

Jamie said...

Amen sister! What a great letter. My daughter just celebrated her 4th birthday and I thought she was going to lose it on camera while we wrestled her new Dora doll from captivity!

Lena said...

FINALLY! FINALLY! Are they afraid the toys themselves are going to get actively involved in their escape?

Do they really need to be bound at all limbs? Is there some sort of masochistic manufacturer designing the "binding" requirements??

Kristin said...

As a mother who spent an unholy amount of time trying to liberate "splash around Dora and Boots" this weekend, I LOVE this post!

Jenny said...

Amen! For Hailey's next birthday I'm going to take everything out of the packages, put in batteries and just cover the whole pile of toys with toilet paper. (She'll probably have more fun with the toilet paper than the toys.)

Denise said...

Amen!

New toys should come with Valium and Vodka for the poor parents!

Rose said...

Now this had me laughing.