An Open Letter
Dear Toy Packaging Pricks,
This letter is to express concern about your mental health. You must be crazy to think that securing a toy in a box wrapped tighter than a corset is a good idea. Why must you make everything so goddam difficult to open?
My daughter celebrated her 3rd birthday this week and in between squeals of excitement were tears of frustration. She waited patiently as I, her mother, tried to pry off twisty things, cut through plastic, and break apart random cardboard. Eventually, she broke down as I tried to wrestle her brand new Little People free from their chains.
Why do you feel the need to torture parents of toddlers? Do you sit in a room and cackle at the thought of anxious moms breaking a sweat while trying to extract a new toy from its package? Does it make you giddy to know that we are silently cursing you fucking nutjobs?
I've got a brilliant idea for you ~ Zip Lock bags!