My Life as a Single Mom

My husband started his second job yesterday. He was gone from 8 in the morning until 11 last night. I was asleep when he left and when he got home too.

He's going to be working 4 days a week to help with the bills. Well, that's not exactly the truth. He just recently bought a motorcycle so job #2 is paying for that.

When he told me he wanted one I said, "no way in hell." He kept asking and asking and finally I said, "if you go out and get another job, then you can get a bike," not in a million years thinking he would actually do it.

You see, I am not working right now and we are struggling on one income. We knew it would be this way though because I just had a baby. So before Lil J was born, we talked about him getting another job to pick up the slack. He agreed but months and months went by and nothing ever materialized. I don't think he even looked. Apparently he'll do anything for a motorcycle because when I told him to go get another job, he had one the next day.

He will still be bringing in extra money for the family, it just says a lot about where his priorities are. I don't know why I keep waiting for him to grow up, it just ain't gonna happen.

Anyway, I was so stressed yesterday. Big J had preschool in the morning so it worked out fine. I went food shopping and tried to get the baby to nap in the car seat. She's not big on naps. I don't know what it is. Actually, I do. She wants to be held. At least, I think that's what it is. She's 8 weeks old for pete's sake. She needs to nap, but she usually wakes up after 10 or 20 minutes. Now I know some of you are going to say, "my baby never napped." We're talking about a 2 month old though. I refuse to believe that she doesn't need to sleep during the day.

Some people have said to me, "hey, maybe it's better that she doesn't sleep during the day. She'll sleep better at night." I don't believe that. She's too young not to be napping.

So when Big J came home from preschool it was tricky trying to get Lil J to nap in the afternoon. I spent 4 hours trying to get that little shit to sleep. I sang to her, I played music, I gave her the pacifier, I rocked her, I put her on her belly, anything I could think of. She just wasn't having it. After about an hour I picked her up and tried feeding her. She barely ate and was falling asleep in my arms. So I know she's tired, but she just doesn't know how to settle herself I guess.

I refuse to spend the time rocking and bouncing and doing all that. I can't do it anyway because Big J needs me too. Just when I think Lil J is asleep or ready to drift off, I hear the other one yelling, "Mommy!!"

The night was the hardest because Lil J is tired around the time I put Big J to bed to it's hard keeping her happy while I'm reading Big J stories and hounding her to brush her teeth and get her pj's on.

By the end of the night I had a terrible migraine. This is not going to be fun.


Awesome Mom said...

Have you tried crying it our for naps? Harry was getting the same way and I just put him in a different room that we were in with the door closed. He was just apparently very disturbed by his noisy big brother. So much for that whole infants love noises because it reminds them of the womb theory.

Lara said...

My baby never napped unless I, or someone, held him, until he was 3 months old. The car or the swing sometimes were a good substitute. I had a really good carrier and just "wore" him a lot of the time. Then you can carry her and still get other things done.
We later found out he had reflux and other intolerances and we can now put him down for naps without him freaking out and waking up 3 minutes later.

tAnYeTTa said...

i love the peace sign your baby is showing on your profile. LOVE IT :)

tAnYeTTa said...

oh..i'm not a perfect mom. my son NEVER naps.

unless i lie and tell him if he takes a nap we can go feed the ducks. he's on to me, he knows i'm lying. so, he doesn't take naps. :)

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

I think you should really consider a ring sling.


theBeast would take 2 hour naps when I had her in the sling. She would fight naps just lying down. Also with the sling your arms would be free so you could do things with big J. And babies like the closeness to their moms and they like the movement while your walking around!

carrie said...

A swing? My babies were horrible nappers unless I was holding them, but my middle one loved the swing on low . . . it was the only way I could get anything done with a toddler and a baby.

Good luck, and know that in a week or two, this will seem like ages ago.

And the feet below . . . adorable! :)


chelle said...

I could not do this gig of two without a sling to wear the baby and a bouncey chair ... cannot imagine doing it till 11 pm alone!

Ms. Porter said...

I had two babies like yours and it's rough...especially when you have an older one to tend to as well. You'll figure out what works but just because everyone HAS to give their two cents (me included) here's mine...I used a snugli and then a back pack (when she was older) and that's how I coped. I think an 8 week old is too young to cry it out...but that's just me. I wouldn't judge anyone who would!
As for the hubs, hang in there...it's so hard to think straight after having a baby. I feel for you that you are on your own more now...this is a time when you need extra help!

Mama of 2 said...

I just wanted to let you know how much I feel for you. Not so long ago I was where you are and while it's hell living through the moment it does improve.

My own Girlie Girlie will be 2 years old in 4 days and looking back now the time seemed to fly by.

Keep your chin up and do the best you can since that's all any one can ask for.

Meg said...

Oh Stacy I'm so sorry. It really does feel like being a single parent, doesn't it? I am so scared to have another child for the reasons that you've talked about on here. I know it's worth it and it will all work out, but Squeaks was not a good baby for the first year and I'm just not ready to revisit that.

Good luck to you and your girls. You can get through!

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