The last few days have been so stressful. Not because of shopping or holiday parties, but because my children are driving me crazy. Mostly, my 4 year-old. She is going through a phase right now, hopefully one that won't last much longer. I think it's jealousy towards the baby. Whatever it is, she has been hitting Little J. Sometimes, for no reason.
This morning she came downstairs - the baby and I were already awake - and I said good morning to her. I said good morning to her from the baby too and she walked over to her and slapped her right on the chest. Then, she starts crying and says, "I didn't want her to say good morning to me!" Are you kidding? I was so pissed. It was 7 o'clock in the morning for pete's sake. This is not how I want to start my day.
This used to be my favorite time of the year but now I feel like all I've been doing is yelling and threatening to tell Santa what a naughty girl Big J has been. I dread going out in public with the both of them because it almost always ends with me storming out of a store. Little J hates being restrained in any way so that means car seats and strollers are like torture chambers for her. If she starts crying, then Big J gets angry and that's when the fighting begins. I feel so beaten down, physically and mentally. I'm exhausted.
The grinch in me is actually dreading Christmas morning because I know it will inevitably end in tears. Here's how I imagine it. The baby will be after every single toy Big J gets and my zero patience preschooler will be screaming, "No!" all morning.
Every day feels like a battle lately. And it's not just my kids. My husband has been on my back about working so much. Yes, the very same man who basically forced me to go out and get a job.
I can't even finish this post without having to get up and break up a fight.....