5.27.2008

Moving Violation

You might have guessed by looking at the pictures below that we had a fabulous sun drenched Memorial Day weekend. Well, you'd only be half right.

Most of the weekend was good ~ for everyone except me. I worked both Saturday and Sunday and I was looking forward to a nice relaxing day yesterday. That's not at all what I got. It started out incredible. The weather was gorgeous! While the baby napped in the moring, I sat out in the sun. It was so nice to sit there and feel the warmth of the sun all over my body. Julianna and Daddy were fishing so it was quiet for about 30 minutes. Then, the baby woke up and it was time to get ready for a barbecue at my sister-in-laws house.

When we got there, Julianna was acting like a brat, talking back to me (we've been having a lot of issues with this lately). No one had arrived yet so her eventual temper tantrum fell on deaf ears. I simply warned her that speaking rudely to me is unacceptable and that if it happened again, I would take her home.

Her cousins came soon after and then everyone hopped in the pool. Julianna brought an Ariel pool toy that she got at Target earlier in the day and of course, all the kids wanted to play with it. I thought she was doing quite well sharing, especially since it was a brand new toy. I saw a bunch of her cousins playing with it.

The day was rolling along just fine. I spent most of my time chasing after the baby. Boy is that exhausting!! Anyway, it was getting late and I mentioned to Julianna that we were going to leave soon. I was sitting at a table not too far from the pool when I saw her and her cousin arguing. I don't know exactly what happened but her cousin had the Ariel toy and Julianna wanted it back. I went over to find out what was going on and Julianna's mood was escalating. She was whining and being rude so I told her to let Mia (her cousin) play with the toy for a few minutes please and then she would give it back. At this point, Mia's mom (another SIL) came over to see what was going on and made a comment about Julianna not knowing how to share. I let it slide over my head because I could see that Julianna was getting more upset. She started talking back to me and I had enough.

I pulled her out of the pool and she had a fit. I'm not talking about your everyday temper tantrum. Yes there was yelling an screaming and kicking and crying, but there have been a few times when I look at her and wonder whether there is something very wrong with her. Her voice deepens, she gets truly angry and starts yelling as loud as she can. She will flair her arms, kick her legs, throw things, etc. So I had my husband carry her to the car and put her in the backseat. I got in the car without buckling her because I knew there was no way she was going to let me. She was trying to get out as it was and we live less than a mile from my SIL's house. I started driving while she's screaming in the back seat. I turned around to see the car door open ... WHILE I WAS DRIVING!!! I was so terrified she was going to fall out of the car that I started screaming. I slowly came to a stop and when I put the car in park, she got out and started runing down the street. MY FOUR YEAR OLD CHILD!!!!

Can you believe it? I was so completely shocked and scared I grabbed her, put her back in the car and this time, locked the doors. I have never yelled like that in my life, but I screamed at her never to do that again. I think she could tell from the fear in my voice that she did something very bad. She kept apologizing (in between sobs and screaming, of course).

When we got home I marched her in her room and left her there. I was so furious I couldn't think of anything else to do. My husband and I talked to her later and told her we were very angry and that she's not allowed to play with her princesses for the rest of the week. I tried to convey to her just how dangerous that was. She could have fallen out of the car and gotten seriously hurt. I gave her dinner, a bath and then she went right back in her room. She asked me for dessert and even television before bed and I said no. We barely spoke to each other. My husband told her to come give me a hug and I said no. I told her I was too angry and upset.

Today she's been very quiet. She asked me once if she could play with her princesses and when I said no, she cried. She keeps asking if she's being a good girl today and if I'm going to tell daddy that she was good. I feel so terrible but she needs to understand that I will not tolerate being talked back to. She needs to respect me and everyone else she talks to. God, but she's only 4!! Ugh, it's just so hard to teach these lessons. I am so not cut out for this!!

5 comments:

Christina said...

My goodness, what a day! We've had some pretty major fits with Nadia - and she's only two. I'm doing my best to get them under control now before they escalate. It sounds like you handled it well, tho. I hope it sinks in for her.

Mel said...

Oh my god, I would have died. Man, oh, man, poor mama! You did the right thing, mom. When it gets into danger territory, there's nothing else you can do but make it severe enough that they will not forget.
(I understand how it's hard. And I understand how it can wrench your gut with pity and sorrow to uphold your punishments. But you are doing the right thing.)

Mama of 2 said...

WOW what an experience!
It sounds like you really need to have someone intervene when it comes to Big J.

IMO as a mom....I would be worried about the behaviors you have described especially in this post.

Good luck with all of this.

grayelephant said...

I don't think anything is wrong with her. It sounds like she just has a very strong personality. My son is a lot like her. Very strong-willed, knows exactly what he wants, and has a tantrum if he doesn't get what he wants. It is so difficult at times and often I cry in frustration. My mom and hubby say that it's because I'm too nice. And maybe it is partially true; he really takes advantage of that. Still... kids with really strong personalities are not easy! That being said, I think they will be successful when they grow up 'cuz they won't take any crap from anyone!

Melinda said...

*Hugs* to you from fellow mom who has had those days from her 4 year old too. Remember, it was just one of those things...be happy it is over and hopefully she really did learn a lesson as to how dangerous that was. Kids will test you...and strong willed ones are really the toughest but somebody up there thought you were a good one to handle it so keep your chin up...it WILL get better.