6.26.2008

How Do You Handle Lying?

This morning I caught my daughter in a lie. It's wasn't a huge deal but I was unsure how to deal with it.

She was eating an english muffin and kept complaining that she didn't want to finish it. This was actually her second meal. The first one she rejected because there "were black things in it." When I looked, I found nothing.

Anyway, when she asked me for a drink I told her she had to finish at least one half of the muffin. She does that all the time. She fills up on milk, or juice, or water but not her food. I walked out of the room and sat down on the couch. A minute later she came over and said she had finished her english muffin. She showed me her plate and I said "good job."

When I went to throw the crumbs in the garbage, I found the half of the muffin she was supposed to have eaten. Immediately, she started to cry and ran into room. I told her, very calmy, to come talk to me. I told her I was disappointed that she lied to me. She kept coming up with excuses like, "I was confused about how to tell the truth." She's started doing this lately. When she gets in trouble, she'll make up an excuse like, "Well, I meant to say yes I'll put my toys away, not no."

I'm not sure how to react to it all. I try not to yell, really I do, but it doesn't always work. Is it really that big of a deal? Kids do stuff like that, right? She's only 5 years old.

How do you handle situations like this?

4 comments:

Christina said...

Hmmm...I think you handled it well. Maybe explain to her also why she needs to tell the truth, so that people will believe that what she says is true. Yes, every kid does it...but still, we want to nip it in the bud!

Ms. Porter said...

ahh yes, the lies. they are new in our household, and younger sister caught on as well (she's only three and can't lie very well!). lying is something that i just can't stand. it's a well known fact in our household that i never lie. my kids know that when i say i'm going to do something i do it, when i say i won't, i don't. there are no surprises, they know in advance if they are going to get a needle at the doctors, i don't lie if we hire a sitter after they fall asleep...you get the idea. so when my kids lie to me i am so disappointed and honestly, i'm angry too. if they lie the discipline is all about the lie and not whatever they did...they are always punished for lying. last week my daughter wasn't allowed to swim in the pool until after lunch (this is a huge punishment) because she didn't fess up to something she did....she never got punished for what she did wrong. i have no idea if this is right or wrong, but it's getting the point across.

active toddler said...

Yeah .. this could be big problem if parents can't handle it well.

But how about white lies ?? or how about parents who have to lie for some reasons ??

I think, finding the reasons why they lie is the best way.
Sometimes kids just don't know what to do and imitate what they see. Or maybe because sometimes they don't want to make their parents mad or sad .. so they lie :)

TODDLERS said...

I will tell her ti isn't good, and that if she did it again she will pay the consequences, maybe a week without barney..