End of the Week Update

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

It's Friday and that means another feeding session. No luck with french fries today. She was just sucking on them. No biting or chewing. When she does bite a small piece off, she spits it out.

We tried to trick her today. I brought soda with the french fries and we put tiny pieces on the straw, hoping she wouldn't notice. At first she didn't want anything to do with it, but I got stern and told her she needed to try. You see, J's one weakness is the need to please. She doesn't like it when mommy is mad or sad. So if I tell her that what she's doing is making me angry, she'll stop. I tried to exploit that during the session and it worked. She swallowed a few tiny pieces of french fry with the soda. She also tried a piece of a grape.

It's so frustrating. On one hand, we've made so much progress. She's willing to put all kinds of food in her mouth ~ pizza, french fries, vegetables, ice pops, cookies, candy, peanut butter, etc. But she still won't chew. She still swallows everything whole. I just can't figure it out! Her therapist suggested taking her to a behaviorist. She believes, as do I, that J is fully capable of chewing and swallowing. It's not a question of mechanics. The bottom line is she's afraid! I just don't know how to help her anymore. I don't know how to break through. Now that she's got the vocabulary to express herself it's worse. She tells me she's "so scared." I try my hardest to reassure her. "Don't worry sweetie, if you chew your food it won't be scary. It will go down into your belly just like mommy and daddy."

I've even started using the 'big girl' angle. She will be turning 3 soon and I've started saying things like, "You're not a baby anymore. It's time to chew your food. Big girls eat big girl food. Your friends at school eat all by themselves. Yada, yada, yada." Who knows if that'll be the spark that ignites her curiosity.

In other news, I'm glad you guys were on my side about the Italy thing. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy when I say things to my husband and he tells me I'm overreacting. He's really good at making me second guess my feelings. Here's another gem from my hubby. Last night, while we were driving to his parents house for dinner, we started talking about money. I forget how we got on the topic but he said that, compared to his friends, he makes a good salary. I agreed. Then he added, "and I have nothing to show for it." COME ON! He's got a house, a car, the clothes on his back, a huge ass TV in the living room, food in the refrigerator and a million other things I can name that he should be grateful for. His response? "I hate my life."

I'm not even going to go into it, except to say that he's a master of pushing my buttons.

Lastly, I have been doing some spring cleaning and came across a lot of journal entries and stories I wrote before I had a baby and before I got married. I was thinking about posting some of them. So keep checking back for some orginal works by J's mommy!!!


JayMonster said...

I'm not sure if I can call this a "male thing" or not, but it is pretty darn close.

It is sort of a take off from the "keeping up with the Jones'" and it usually rears it head out of jealousy of something (in my case usually something like a car, or big screen television, etc. in a word "toys") that one of my friends or acquaintances has that I can't understand "WHY" they have this thing that I want, and I know right now that there is no way I can afford to get it"

There is no known cure.

Just ignore him. Him telling you is just his way of venting this out and in no way has any bearing that resembles real life. We know we can't afford or can't get the object of our (current) obsession. We vent... and move on.

In particularly bad cases, you can just remind him of something that he has that is cool, and it will often placate the jealous beast.

Kristen said...

I tried to post yesterday but blogger - ARGH. Anyway, three words for you about that Italy thing:

No F'n way [in hell]

If he wants to go - then you get to go do something with your g-friends.

Now with the chewing - I'm a music therapist and have worked with lots of kids with SID (or sensory issues) - I wonder if

1) can you use anything as an incentive? I'm sure you have tried this - but you never know... Each time she takes a chew give her a sticker.

2) Make it a funny thing - like a chewing song - or a chewing chant -even if she doesn't swallow.

If you're happy and you know it... LOL I can think of some better ones for you.

3) Can you do any role playing - get a doll that has an open mouth and see if she'll chew - or other family members? Have her feed them and watch them chew happily and joyfully?

Those are some pretty behavioral things for ya.

Stephanie said...

I am really sorry that you have to deal with this feeding therapy stuff. It sounds very frustrating. Just keep trying - she is sure to get it (hopefully sooner than later)!

MrsFortune said...

Would love to see those writings!

I hope the food thing gets better soon! Maybe one day she'll just have a change of heart? Like the change would not be very gradual? I don't know if it works like that but ... anyway, good luck.

chelle said...

Hmmm, that has to be very frustrating that she does not chew...It sounds like you have tried a lot of angles...Keep at it, some day she will chew!!

tAnYeTTa said...

Have you tried chewing up your food and opening your mouth really wide and talking while you're eating all the way saying seeeee it's yummy, it's ok to chew.

seriously speaking though, i have no advice. my son stick fries in the ketchup and sucks all the ketchup off. ewwww is right.

p.s. your husband is a master at pushing your buttons, i refuse to comment about it anylonger. i'm concerned.!!!!

tAnYeTTa said...

How are you?????? Here's a hug from me to you. Geez! I'm still fuming off that Italy thing. that was tooo LOW.

and now he has NOTHING To show for it. did you ask what he wants to show for it?! my goodness this stinks!

Juliabohemian said...

you're too nice. When my husband says something like that I say "Is it 'feel sorry for Warren' day already? I forgot to check my calendar!" Then I pretend to cry.

He might be suffering from depression if he is saying things like that. A trip to a therapist wouldn't hurt. Also remember that men, despite what society has done to try to level the playing field, still view themselves as the breadwinners. They measure success in terms of money, merits and toys. Women are more intrinsic. When men get to a certain age they start to question whether or not they have accomplished everything they should have by this point. Just stay on top of it or he might come home with a nose ring or a new sports car.

Nancy said...

Hey, I don't think I've seen the background on your daughter's feeding issues. Was she a preemie? My neighbor's son has similar feeding issues, he's just turned two and just starting to eat pureed foods after only being fed through a tube. He's been checked out and the doctor's feel that he's physically capable of chewing, but afraid to for whatever reason (sounds similar to your daughter.) The only thing that's worked for my friend is to let him watch TV as a treat while he eats. No food, no TV -- and that's the only time he gets to watch anything. I know how frustrating it is for my friend, so I wish you all the best.

Can't wait to read the old writings -- I'm getting ready to post some of those myself!

Awesome Mom said...

My husband also does the same thing as yours. Also sometimes when we get into a heated argument he blames me for ruining his life and making him miserable *roll eyes* he is such a drama queen it is not even funny any more. I just laugh and tell him that my whole purpose in life is to make him mad and I stay up at night thinking of ways to annoy him. Eventually he is able to laugh his way out of his annoying mood.

Keep going with the therapy! It will eventually get better and you will look back on all of this and be happy that you are in a better place now.

Chaotic Mom said...

Hey, my son has sensory integration problems, low muscle tone. I'm thrilled he's NOT biting his straws anymore when he drinks from them. He's not autistic, either, but some folks don't like to look deeper to see what a cool kid he is apart from his "issues". Frustrating. (He's deaf with a cochlear implant, but would probably have these problems even w/o the deaf thing.)

As far as seperate vacations? I think it's good he ASKED you about it. And that you stood your ground. I MIGHT be tempted to go solo on a vacation, but just as a retreat from my crazy Mommy Days. My hubby has even suggested it, he gets to travel for work all the time. AND he gets time to enjoy his travels, w/out the screaming boys.

But I wouldn't go somewhere that was so very expensive. I'd have to save the big money trips for us as a couple, or with the whole family.

My husband's aging desire was to buy a boat. He bought a used one, fixed it up, got over it and sold it. I'm wondering what he'll come up with next...

cmhl said...

ohhh, looking forward to the pre-baby posts!! things change, huh....

mommy on the verge said...

my friend's daughter had almost the same eating issue it sounds like your daughter had. However, it was so bad, her daughter would not EAT and drank formula and ensure for the first 2 years of her life. Everytime she would try to swallow something, she would 'choke' and be scared to eat it. They went to a behaviorist and found out some kids have similar eating issues. They started going to a behavioral therapy once a week and a support group. She is finally eating at age 3. Good luck to you! Let's see some of those stories!

monica said...

Wow. that would be wicked hard. My son has a had a hard time eating but it's when his reflux was bad. He's a lot braver now but is still skiddish. However, he always chewed. :(

Big hugs mommy and way to be on top of it!

John said...

Hi, ##NAME##, there's a lot of stuff around on the internet, and I was looking for Very Fast Carss when I saw your blog. Neat and interesting. Refreshing, too. I'm a bit of a fast car fanatic - have been for years. Good blogging! John ##LINK##.