I am so grateful to all of you who commented on yesterday's post. I was nervous that no one would be willing to talk about it and I needed to know that I wasn't alone. I was also worried that some troll would come along and make me feel like a loser.
I appreciate all of the suggestions, too. I agree that a lot of being able to orgasm is mental. And when I'm fighting with my spouse and dealing with a cranky toddler, the last thing on my mind is sex. Unfortunately, it happens all too often and then when I do feel frisky, it's hard to put all of that stuff in the back of my head. Jeez, I wish it were as easy for us as it is for men.
There are some other issues that play into my feelings about sex. I wrote about this before but I got pregnant when I was 16. Without going into too much detail, I didn't keep the baby. I'm reluctant to talk about it on here because I know it's a controversial subject. But that changed everything for me. I was scared to do it after that. I wanted nothing to do with my boyfriend, but I didn't have the confidence to walk away. I was a teenager who was dating someone older. I was a doormat. I didn't like conflict. All of these things kept me in the relationship a lot longer than I should have been.
When it finally ended, I was relieved, but I'm the type of person who hates to be alone. It wasn't long before I found another boyfriend who eventually became my husband. I've been with my husband for more than 10 years and I'm not even 30 yet. There were a few guys in between but they used me. I gave them what they wanted and was tossed aside. Because of this, I've never been comfortable with the emotional side of sex.
Physically, it wasn't like it was supposed to be either. A lot of times it hurt. I was always very dry too. I've talked to my Gyno about this and he said to use a lubricant, which I do, and that the more I do it, the easier it will get. Yes he actually said that to me. To be fair, he said it after I gave birth and the pain was from being stitched up too tight (at least that's what I choose to believe). It took a long time to not cringe every time my hubby came near me after J was born.
So anyway, thanks again to all of you for being supportive.
p.s. Check back tomorrow for the debut of Lollipop!