10.04.2006

Ahem, Um Is This Thing On?

Hello?


Is anyone out there?


I know, I know I've been away for a while. Okay, so maybe it's been more that just a little while. I wish I had a better excuse, but I just haven't had the time or the motivation to write.

Before I go any further, I want to thank those of you who e-mailed or commented to check in with me. It means so much to know that you were thinking of me. I figured I owed it to you to give you an update.

It's probably not the best time to be writing. I had a bad mommy day today. J is just driving me crazy lately. Pushing my buttons with all her might, testing me at every turn. If I say black, she SCREAMS white. It's been a struggle to say the least.

Anyway, I wish I could say I'm enjoying my pregnancy but I just feel so stressed all the time. I'm 16 weeks now. Physically, I feel better. No more nausea. I have some of my energy back. In a few short weeks, I'm going for a level 2 ultrasound and we are going to find out the sex! I'm so excited although I'm pretty sure it's going to be another girl.

Emotionally, I am all over the place. One day I'm up and the next I'm down. I'm working a lot and I'm babysitting for my sister-in-law and I think it's all so overwhelming. Throw in a tempermental toddler and most days I just want to disappear.

I feel guilty and ashamed because I'm not even thinking about this new baby. There are days I even forget that I am pregnant or wish that I wasn't. I'm terrified of how difficult it's going to be, how J is going to react, how my husband is (or is not) going to step up.

Sorry to be such a downer, but I'm having a bad day. A poor me, my life is so difficult, wah, wah, wah kind of day.

I hope all is well with you and I hope to talk to again soon!!!!

24 comments:

bubandpie said...

Glad to see you back. You had me worried there for awhile.

Waya said...

I hope you'll feel better soon. It's tough to be pregnant with a toddler in tow. Just think of that cute little baby, the litte hands, and toes that you are responsible for! Oh the joy! Cheer up!

chelle said...

HUGS I totally know how you feel. The first few weeks I was too scared to enjoy the pregnancy and now I am so busy I forget sometimes too. Cheer up and try to enjoy it ... take a bath or something just for you and the baby. Just remember you are never alone!

ali said...

i'm glad you're back and that you're feeling a little better!!:)

Chase said...

We're still all here...just a'waiting for you to come back with some smiles!

Glad you're feeling better physically, at least. Hugs! :)

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

Well, now you'll know who kept you on their bloglines!! LOL. I'm glad to hear from you, even though you're feeling down. I was excited to see "Another Mommy Momment" when I clicked my bloglines open. You'll do fine when the baby comes, no matter how much or how little your husband helps, you're a woman, we're tough and can handle it. And if you get a little stressed out, you have this wonderful blog to vent on every know and again. We're all here to listen and support you!!

something blue said...

I'm so glad to get the update! You've been in my thoughts.

Like you, with pregnancy number two, I found that I was too busy to enjoy it. What little down time you have be sure to rest and relax.

Has J hit the "Why?" stage yet. Strawberry enjoys this word to the max. It's never ending fun.

Pendullum said...

Glad you updated...


And you can always vent on us bloggers

Liesl said...

So glad to see you back! Just know you're not alone in all you're feeling. I've had plenty of days like yours recently. It seems to come with the territory of being pregnant while chasing a toddler all day...I'm told it gets better!

MrsFortune said...

I feel ya. I'm glad you updated, though! I know I would feel the same if I were in your situation, honestly. I hope you get some energy back soon.

Mama of 2 said...

Glad to see a post from you. I too was getting worried.

It sounds like you need a calgon take me away moment and soon. I remember needing a few of those when I was pregnant with Girlie Girlie. Hubby was going to night school 3 nights a week at the time and it was just hell trying to get Little Man to this or that activity, do homework and work myself too. So I can sympathize.

All I can suggest is take a few deep breaths now and again and remember that old saying....this too shall pass.

Good Luck.

Meg said...

Don't beat yourself up! I'm glad that nausea has passed and you are feeling a little better, but I know that stress can really wear you out. Don't worry that you're not constantly thinking about the baby. That's actually a good thing. You still need to focus on the rest of your life, too! You will be more excited when it gets closer to your due date, I'm sure.

I hope you can get some relief and that J will stop resisting everything!

Kristen said...

I'm so glad you updated us, and glad you aren't feeling nauseous anymore! Welcome back!

Karla said...

Sounds like you're staying away for the same reasons as me (minus the pregnancy related issues).

Welcome back!

Mama M said...

Down days and venting are always allowed on blogs! I'm with you on the pregnancy and dealing with a tempermental toddler...it's a lot to handle and some days I just want to check out (or at least steal some quiet time zoning in front of the tv). Glad your nausea went away!

Mommy off the Record said...

Glad to hear everything's going OK with the pregnancy. Glad your nausea is gone! I have a feeling that with second pregnancies, it's much more typical that people don't think about the baby as much as with first pregnancies. After all, you have a toddler to run after now.

Take care!

Juliabohemian said...

I think with the second one I wasn't thinking as much about the baby or the pregnancy as I was just kind of "living." Also, remember last time you didn't have another kid to take care of, which pretty much distracts.

Awesome Mom said...

The second kid always has to give way to the reality that they are not first. This is a normal thing. I felt that the pregnancy was much nicer this way. I was not obsessing over every little thing and was able to look out more the second time around.

adwina - insparenting.com said...

I've been thinking of you lately, dear.
I'm glad you are feeling better. I still got nausea when I was 16-week pregnant. But thankfully it got better after that.

I don't mean to scare you, but my mom even got worse nausea and still vomiting up to her 28-week pregnancy.
Hope everything turns so much better by now.

By the way, have you taken your pregnant belly picture? :). Did you take one in your first pregnancy? I'm curious :)

Love,
Adwina

carrie said...

Yeah! Glad to see your face again - and don't worry, it is completely normal to feel this way with a 2nd pregnancy! I don't think I even realized I was pregnant w/ my 2nd until my 40th week, walking by a window holding my 18 month-old and I saw my gigantic belly sticking out? What the????? I too was worried more about my 1st, and everything turned out fine, of course.

So, my advice to you? Take it easy and enjoy these semi-calm mommy moments while you can. Hope the tummy calms down soon too!

Carrie

Her Bad Mother said...

So glad that you are okay - was thinking of you.

Totally hear you on the bad mommy days. Totally.

Christina said...

Good to hear from you again!

And your worries about #2 are nearly identical to mine. I understand the fear of wondering how to deal with two kids, and I think it's totally OK to feel that way. Don't beat yourself up over thinking through your fears.

Nancy said...

Hope you are still hanging in there. Thinking of you.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

HI! Sarah sent me!

Hope you are feeling better. You are growing another human being inside of you...You have the right to feel grumpy and overwhelmed. And your toddler, ya see (I know you already know this but its nice to hear from someone else once in a while) She's born to test. That's what makes her an individual...Enjoy her. Even the cranky parts.

Now, if only I could learn from my own advice, I'd me golden!

Now I am gonna add you to my blogroll!