Nothing was said. He got home late. I went to bed. We woke up and went on with the day like nothing had happened. And in the scheme of things, nothing really did. There was a misunderstanding. It happens all the time.
Still, I obsessed over what I was going to tell him. He needs an explanation, so he knows it's not his fault. He deserves to hear the truth. Problem is, I'm not sure what the truth is. I love him. With all my heart. I'm attracted to him, when the moment is right. Does that sound horrible? If it does, I can't help it. I can't turn my emotions on and off (although it sounds like a really nifty trick). I can't go from calling each other names to wanting to have sex. I'm not saying that's how it is, but you get the picture.
Part of me doesn't really want to know the truth. What if it is that I'm not really interested? In sex? With anyone? Could it be that my sex drive is non-existent? Is there something deeper? Am I really just tired?
I'd like to think so because then at least that means things could get better, like he said. When we've talked about this before, I've told him I'm not sure what the problem is. He doesn't buy it. He's a guy though. He needs a reason. I wish I could give him one.
What should I do? How can I make it better?