My mom tells me this all the time. That if I want my husband to do something - laundry, dishes, diapers - I have to ask.
Well, when is that just an excuse? "You didn't ask honey, so I just sat on my ass all day watching television while you cleaned the house, fed the baby, played with her, gave her a bath, and put her to bed." Why do I have to ask for every little thing? The whole concept just makes me mad.
I work on Saturdays and it's a really long day. I'm a gymnastics instructor at a facility for kids and on Saturdays I teach 3 classes in a row. This weekend I had to teach 5 to cover for someone. That's almost 5 hours straight of gymnastics. 5 hours of trying to get a 2 year-old to stand up straight on a balance beam. 5 hours of running, jumping, galloping, forward rolls, pullovers, and cartwheels.
After work, I got dressed in the bathroom, drove to my niece's communion party and put in another 5 hours of overtime.
I watched the baby while hubby went inside to catch the NFL draft and parts of the Devils/Rangers game. I pushed J on the swings at my sister-in-laws house, helped her down the slide, fed her, played referee between her and her cousins, blew bubbles, kissed her boo boo, and watched while she had a grand old time.
When we got home from the party, I was still working. I didn't get a break all day and I was fuming. But because I didn't ask for help, it's all my fault. Because complaining about how much my back hurt wasn't enough of a clue that maybe I needed a break. Because watching me doing everything from the comfort of the couch wasn't enough to make him feel guilty.
Oh and here's the kicker. I did speak up to hubby after the baby was in bed. He asked me what was wrong and I laughed because I thought for sure he can't be that stupid. But I was wrong. He apparently had no clue that I had a long day and would have liked a little more help from him. Screw help. I'm used to doing everything. I would have liked some compassion, some companionship, some awareness.
You don't want me to act like your mother so why make me nag you? Open your eyes and take a look around asshole! The icing on the cake was when we were arguing and I mentioned how hard I worked. Hubby replied, "You don't know what work is."
Doesn't my hubby have a way with words? He's always knows just what to say! His reason for not lifting a finger - I didn't ask. So I ask you again, when is that just an excuse for laziness?