Have you heard this song? Hubby came to me a couple days ago and said it describes us perfectly.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
He's right. We're at opposite ends of the world. Somehow I've got to bridge the gap or our marriage will crumble.
But I don't know how to do that. There's so much hurt and resentment. With each fight it's getting harder and harder to forgive. It takes longer to come back together.
We haven't talked about this last arguement yet. I'm just not up for the battle. I know how it's going to go. He'll say that he did nothing wrong, that I should have asked him for help. He's a master at twisting things around.
I'm willing to admit that I should have been more verbal about needing a break, but I did drop clues. Plus, he made it very clear that I wasn't a priority that day. On any other day, he would have been there, but that day was the NFL draft AND a Devils playoff game. Plus, he just had to help his neice try and beat this new copmuter game.
Maybe that's where the anger really comes from. That I wasn't a thought at all. That there were more important things to deal with than me. This is where it gets tricky. If I tell him that, he'll brush it off and turn the tables on me.
So the conversation needs to take place, I'm just planning my defense. What can I say that will get through to him? That won't get twisted around and end up with me apologizing. It's going to be difficult because I've already waited to long. I've left room for doubt to set in, for the details to get cloudy. After a few minutes we won't remember what we're fighting about and the conversation will turn into a blame game.